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All about the F-word (Warning: strong language)

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
I was sitting in the garden, enjoy the sunshine and reading Bill Bryson's book "Mother Tongue", which is about language, and it made me think...
I've often thought that it's strange how expressions used in everyday language were once considered "in poor taste"; I believe it is time to bring a particular term that has long been downcast and berated (by the imperialist dogma of the english-teacher regime), into the light of day. It is past the time when this word should have been given the full privileges of being a recognized member of the English language (that's the stuff that was developed in Britain, but never properly implemented in the States)
Of course, you all know the word I refer to; I have had this piece of literature lying around for a while, and I thought it demonstrates the case appropriately enough (sorry, author unknown):

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the english language is the word "fu(k." It is the one magical word which by just its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
"Fu(k" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as verb both transitive (John fu(ked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fu(ked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fu(k), or a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fu(k), or a noun (Mary is a fine fu(k). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fu(king beautiful). It should be obvious now that there are not many words as versatile as "fu(k."
Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:
Fraud: I got fu(ked by my insurance agent.
Dismay: Oh, fu(k it!
Problem: I guess I'm fu(ked now.
Aggression: Fu(k you.
Passive: Fu(k me.
Confusion: What the fu(k?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fu(king business.
Despair: Fu(ked again.
Philosophical: Who gives a fu(k?
Religious: Holy Fu(k.
Incompetence: He's all fu(ked up.
Laziness: He just fu(ks about.
Displeasure: What the fu(k is going on?
Rebellion: Fu(k off!
Surprise: Fu(king Incredible!
It can be used in descriptive anatomy - He's a fu(king arsehole.
It can be used to tell time - It's five fu(king thirty.
It can be used in business - How did I get this fu(king job?
It can be a prediction - Oh, will I get fu(ked.
It can have maternal connotations - as in "Mother Fu(ker."
It can be nautical - Fu(k the Admiral.
It can be political - Fu(k Reagan.
It can open the door to wonderful relationships - "let's fu(k."
It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word - as in Beautifu(kingful, Terfu(kingific or Absofu(kinglutely.
The mind is fairly boggled at the many many creative uses. How could anyone be offended when you say "fu(k?" Use it in your daily speech! It adds to your prestige.
Today tell someone "Fu(k You."


[ April 25, 2002, 09:10 AM: Message edited by: Wear the fox hat ? ]
post #2 of 2
You stumbled and forgot the obvious:

To wonder where geographical points of interest are:

Wear the fox hat?
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EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › All about the F-word (Warning: strong language)