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Ski Jokes

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Ok - lets get a list of them going again for folks. Heres off the top of my head:

Q: How many extreme skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50, 1 to make the turns and then 49 to point up and say "I could have done that"

Q: How can you tell who the ski patroller is in a room full of people?
A: You don't have to, they will tell you.

Q: How do you get a snowboarder to get off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: How many ski patrollers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, they hold it up there and just wait for the world to revolve around them.

Q: Whats the difference between a snowboarder and a vacuum cleaner?
A: One is a noisy scumsucker with a bag of air on it. The other is for cleaning your floor with.

This guy walks into a bar at Mt. Baker and says "Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?"
The bartender says, "Well, I'm a snowboarder, the guy on your left is a snowboarder, same with the guy on your right, and a couple of folks behind you as well!".
So he says "Ok, I'll tell it a little more slowly then"

Q: Why do lifties only get a 1/2 hour lunch break?
A: Any longer and they need to be retrained.

Q: What do snowboarders use as birth control.
A: Their personalities.

Q: How does a snowboarder introduce themselves?
A: "Ohhhh - sorry dude!"

Q: How do you become a millionare as a ski instructor?
A: Start out a billionare.

Q: How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50, one to hold the bulb and 49 to smoke enough dope to make the room spin.

Q: What is the difference between a God and a ski patroller?
A: God does not think she is a ski patroller.

Q: What do you call a snowboarder with no girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: What is the difference between a snowboard student and their instructor?
A: Three days

Q: A car has five snowboarders in the backseat, what do you call the driver?
A: Officer
post #2 of 8
post #3 of 8
Thanks Todd!
post #4 of 8
A guy finds out he needs a brain transplant. The doctor proceeds to show him various brains. One brain, which belonged to a skier, cost $500, the other, which belonged to a boarder, cost $5000. Perplexed, he asked about the price difference.

The doctor replied "Well, the boarder's brain has never been used!"
post #5 of 8
Q. How many skier instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. 50, 1 to screw it in, 49 to say "nice turns"

Q. How many Ski Examiners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. We have not figured it out yet. They are all still analyzing the turns..
post #6 of 8
Q. Why do snowboarders stink?
A. So they can offend the blind

Q. What do snowboarders and a human sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one in million chance of becoming a human being.
post #7 of 8

What the difference between a Vail ski instructor and God?

God doesn't think he's a ski instructor.

(old joke but I wanted to bump an old thread.)
post #8 of 8
So you bring my name into it? I resemble that remark!!!!

But now I'm just a recovering ski instr.....
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