or Connect
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › Can you beat this for a bad joke???
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Can you beat this for a bad joke???

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Q: what did the inflatable headmaster from the inflatable school say to the inflatable schoolboy with a pin?

A: Not only have you let yourself down, you’ve let me down and you’ve let the whole school down.
post #2 of 21
There were 2 eggs in a frying pan, one says to the other "its hot in here"

the other says "ahhh a talking egg"

or what about this one...

there were 2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing ? "

post #3 of 21
Do you know why a chicken coupe has 2 doors instead of 4?

If a chicken coupe had 4 doors, it would be a ... sedan. :
post #4 of 21
So there are this chicken and egg at a party. They suck up a few or more brewskis, get a buzz on, and really hit it off. They go back to the chickens place, get hot and heavy, go to bed and have sex. Afterward, the chicken rolls over, lights up a cigarette, and says, "Well, I guess that settles THAT!"

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ February 01, 2002 04:17 PM: Message edited 1 time, by oboe ]</font>
post #5 of 21
O'Reilly was seen leaving the theatre at the interval during a play. "Excuse me, sir," said the doorman, "Isn't the play to your liking?" O'Reilly said, "T'is not that. It's just that the programme says that the second act takes place two weeks later and me wife told me to be home before midnight."
post #6 of 21
yes, I surely can

SCSA claims that he skis better (more aggressively, tougher lines, more technically proficient) than everyone in the Barking Bears Forums.

now, initially I'm inclined to think that's a good joke, but when you consider how obnoxiously SCSA speaks of his skiing superiority, it becomes a VERY bad joke... much like the failed black "comedy" Very Bad Things.
post #7 of 21
Thread Starter 
And now for some creative ways to say that someone is stupid...

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
post #8 of 21
... One sandwich short of a picnic.

post #9 of 21
"not the brightest pencil in the sea"
post #10 of 21
Now that's a horse of a different feather!

We'll burn that bush when we get to it.

Sorry! Cliches just aren't my cup of tea.
post #11 of 21
Thread Starter 
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by yuki:
We'll burn that bush when we get to it.

Was that not an election quote from Pat Buchanan?
post #12 of 21
Did ya hear about Al Gore, on vacation in Florida with his dog?
Walking on the beach, throws in a piece of driftwood for the hound to
The ol' dog walks across the surface of the water and brings it back.
Gore's flabbergasted. Thinks he may have had too much sun. Tries it again.
Same thing - the dog walks across the water and retrieves.
Gore's ecstatic. Says "Here's my big chance to get back in the spotlight,
back on the national stage."
Calls a HUGE press conference for next day. TV, papers, film crews,
Throws in the driftwood stick and the dog walks across the surface and
brings it back.
Next day, the headlines are unanimous:

post #13 of 21
He's got a photographic memory and the lens cap is on.

or the camera is out of film.
post #14 of 21
I've got one!!!!

Did you hear about the airline that pulled an elderly lady off of a plane for having knitting needles?

They were afraid she was going to knit an Afghan.

Hee hee [img]tongue.gif[/img]

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ February 09, 2002 12:48 PM: Message edited 1 time, by Sugar Snack ]</font>
post #15 of 21
...and he's number 'n a pounded thumb!

post #16 of 21
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Two, the problem is getting them in the lightbulb.
post #17 of 21
A bra, a battery and a set of jump leads walk into a bar. The battery and
jump leads take a seat, whilst the bra goes up to the bar.

The bra says to the barman "Afternoon pal, three pints of Stella please"

"Sorry mate" says the barman "I can't serve you"

"Why not" the bra says.

"Coz you're off your tits, and your mates look like they're going to start
post #18 of 21
Q. How was copper wire invented?

A. Two scotsmen started fighting over a penny.

post #19 of 21
I thought it was two Swiss in New Glarus?
post #20 of 21
Fox - Too funny!!

Sharp as a bowling ball (oldie but goodie)
Dummer 'n a box of hammers
Uglier 'n a mud fence
The IQ of a wet mop
Smart as my pet rock (remember those??)
post #21 of 21
heheh, still love the mudfence one...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › Can you beat this for a bad joke???