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Office Christmas Party

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
December 1st


I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel
free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 2nd


In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that
often coincides with Christmas (though nfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanza at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director

December 3rd


Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a nondrinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange--no gifts will be allowed since the union members
feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director

December 7th


I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the
gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director

December 9th


People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a
red suit."

Patty Lewis
Human Recourses

December 10th


Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know,
tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
scream. I'm hearing them right now...

Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

December 14th


I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to Her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director
post #2 of 4
I love it! Its about time someone was brave enough to goof on the concept of being oh so politically correct!!! [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] :
post #3 of 4
Tanglefoot, that was great
That had me hooked, felt like i only read two lines!
p.s. your name sounds like my skiing ability :
post #4 of 4
Sounds like our King County Executive. This story has been picked up all over the nation and now he's feeling the heat. Can't win for losing in this town. Poor Seattle - she tries to be PC but it always backfires.

Seattle-King County Exe's PC Holidays

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ December 13, 2001 10:54 AM: Message edited 1 time, by Sugar Snack ]</font>
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