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Ski Jokes

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 22
The Sheriff one is a crack up!!
And i never thought i would have come across another lightbulb joke! My pick:
How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb??

50. 1 to hold the bulb and 49 to smoke enough dope for the room to spin
post #3 of 22
Q: What's the difference between a government bond and a ski bum?
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A: government bond will eventually mature and make money.
post #4 of 22
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lisamarie:
http://www.amenta.com/ski/skijokes.htm<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks LM, good to start the day with a smile [img]smile.gif[/img]
post #5 of 22
Jokes are good. Heard Most of 'em. But what a nice site! Informative and simple. What a concept! Hell, I wanna take a lesson now!

Spag

PS. How many ski instructors does in take to screw in a light bulb?
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-Ski instructors don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
: : [img]redface.gif[/img]

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ November 29, 2001 07:52 PM: Message edited 1 time, by Notorious Spag ]</font>
post #6 of 22
Spag!!! That one had me rolling on the floor!
post #7 of 22
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Cracking up on bulbs

Hot Tub.

Oz [img]smile.gif[/img]
post #8 of 22
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

20. 1 to screw it in, and 19 to critique the turns.
post #9 of 22
Not skiing, but light bulb related:

Q: How many knats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but I'm not sure how they get in there.
post #10 of 22
Q: How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?

A: Pay for the pizza.

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Q: How many Extreme Skiers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Twenty, one to make the actual turns, and then 19 to point up and say "I could have done that".

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Q: How many ski patrollers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Just one, they simply hold it up and let the world revolve around them.

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This guy walks into a bar at Mt. Baker and says "Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?" The bartender says, "I'm a snowboarder, the guy on your right is a snowboarder, same with the guy on your left, and the guy behind you is a snowboarder." So he says, "OK. I'll tell it a little more slowly then..."

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Q: Why do lifties only get half a hour lunch break?

A: Because any longer and they need to be retrained!

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Q: What do snowboarders use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.

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Q: How does a snowboarder introduce themselves?

A: Ohhh - sorry dude!

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Q: How do you become a millionare as a professional skier?

A: Start out a billionare.
post #11 of 22
I've just found out what has made America great! You have screw-in light bulbs. This allows you to write good jokes.

UK light bulbs are nearly all bayonet ones, so the light bulb jokes are just 'how many x does it take to change a light bulb' - but then most of the ones here wouldn't work.
post #12 of 22
Most of the jokes here were pretty funny. Some were even VERY funny. But the absolute best post in this entire tag was from Frances. I'm still laughing!!!
post #13 of 22
what's the difference between two large pizzas and a ski instructor?

Two large pizzas can feed a family of five.
post #14 of 22
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geoff':
what's the difference between two large pizzas and a ski instructor?

Two large pizzas can feed a family of five.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

AMEN, BROTHER!!!
post #15 of 22

why do the skii men wear a wetsuit?

 

 

so that they can pee in the water.

post #16 of 22

what is the difference between a ski instructor and God?

 

God doesn't think he is a ski instructor.

post #17 of 22

How many ski coaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Seven. One to screw it in and six to say "nice turns!"

post #18 of 22

You don't get dumped by a chick in a ski town. You just lose your turn

post #19 of 22

What is the difference between a ski instructor and God?

God doesn't think he is a ski instructor.

post #20 of 22

What do you call a ski patroler in a suit? 

A defendant.

post #21 of 22

roflmao.gif

post #22 of 22

A snowboarder becomes ill on the chair lift, puking everywhere.  The ski patrol takes him straight to the hospital.

 

Doctor: "You appear very ill.  We'll need  urine, stool, semen, and blood samples."

 

Snowboarder: "Here, take my underwear."
 

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