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Forest Service to Regulate Ski Instruction

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

Washington, D.C. The Forest Service Ministry of Skiing has announced that beginning with the 2017-18 ski season it will require all ski schools which operate on public lands which it administers to abide by its new regulations on ski instruction.

 

Standards on what is to be taught and how are in the process of being written by the Ministry staff; the one for the Performance and Teaching of the Wedge Turn has been completed. It is available as a printed version or as a pdf file on 67 3 ½ in floppy disks. The standard on the parallel turn is in process. “Some say that it is little more than “turn both feet” but we disagree”, says Forest Service Spokesman Don Rheinwine. “We want to make a big deal out it; we figure about 2000 pages should cover it.” He rejects the criticism that the D. C. staff, none of whom have ever skied can do this job. “I have seen five year old children skiing: how hard can it be?”

 

The Ministry will take over the certification of instructors, with three standards of increasing difficulty: BP (Bumbling Parallel), IP (Intermittent Parallel) and AP (Avalanche Parallel). All ski schools must have at least fifty percent of its instructors Certified. Examinations will be by a Web program under development. “We didn't like having to hire Saudi Computer Solutions to do this, but theirs was the lowest bid at $ 167 million so we had to take it” said Rheinwine. “They have assured us that it will be finished on schedule, but it bothers me a bit that they have asked what snow is.”

post #2 of 7
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post #3 of 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by sibhusky View Post

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Let the games begin!
post #4 of 7
Gotta go ski first. Would be a fool not to.
post #5 of 7

April Fools!!

post #6 of 7

Where is the federal bureau of ski investigations in all of this? It is the FBSI that has been performing ongoing undercover investigations of the ski industry for years. Not only due to the pay issue but also due to that the ski industry has long been suspected as an underground railroad for Nazi wartime criminals posing as Austrian ski instructors. If you know any Instructors claiming to be from Austria but skiing on Volkl and driving a BMW, I would be very suspicious.

post #7 of 7

Ministers are involved ?  Well that is certaintly going to change things.  What about drinking and paid time for prayer meetings ?

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