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Ab-Tronics being sued!

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
You know those gizmos on the infomercial. No diet, no exercise, just attach this electronic belt that will take away the fat.

Well....DUH!!!!!!! Now go do a REAL AB workout!!!
post #2 of 9
Now that everyone will actually have to do something to get something, maybe someone will comment on your "thousand steps on the ball".

I tried a few - not sure if I was doing them right- but yeah man!!! I put it aside to sit with my ab-belt (kidding)
post #3 of 9
Well. I hope they've got the stomach for litigation!!!!! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...get it? "Stomach for litigation"??? Never mind.

Maybe next they'll invent an electronic kegelcizer.
post #4 of 9
Didn't K2 put those on their skis?
(So that when you looked down at your skis while you were skiing, you could see the flashing red light, which meant you were skiing. Sometimes when you're skiing you're not sure. That's why they have flashing red lights.)
post #5 of 9
Sad really, the only problem with the Ab-Tronic is that it is underpowered. To beef up the system all that is needed is a V-8 motor with a good modern high voltage coil, this is standard on most modern engines. From your local auto parts store buy a coil of raw spark plug wire. Have the store crimp on the correct connector for your distributor. Measure off about 20’ of wiring and remove the insulation from about 1” of the remaining wire end. Soldier this end to a piece of metal in the shape you desire (round, oval, square, etc). Next purchase a grounding mat; you know the kind that your chair rolls around on at the office. It will have an electrical grounding cord coming off of it. Attach the grounding cord to the engine ground cable (the battery ground).

Now you are ready to use the Auto Ab-Tronic. To do so, remove one of the spark plug wires from the distributor and replace it with the wire you just made. Using a liberal amount of duct tape, tape the shaped metal end to the portion of your abs you wish to enhance. Lying on the grounding mat, have your workout companion start the engine.

Once you feel the first barrage of high voltage, Auto Ab-Tronic guarantees that you will begin snapping and writhing on the grounding mat. We also guarantee that following a program, of two ½ hour workouts each day for one month, will place you in significantly better shape than you were before starting the program. So, What are you waiting for?
post #6 of 9
Swap a Sears lawnmower for the V-8, and I think you're on to something. Tempting!
post #7 of 9

Go with it!!! But remember, I need video to help ensure you are using correct form. Injuries are preventable, but only by using the correct form.
post #8 of 9
Thread Starter 
post #9 of 9

Ahhhh, vindication, even Jim Brown, editor of the Georgia Tech Sports Medicine and Performance Newsletter and a health education Ph.D. (as noted in the article posted above) agrees that my invention, the Auto Ab-Tronic would have the necessary horse power to do the deed. Now. lets get a jerkin'!!!
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