or Connect
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › On the Snow (Skiing Forums) › General Skiing Discussion › My teen ager has decided to stop skiing - a sad day for me.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

My teen ager has decided to stop skiing - a sad day for me. - Page 4

post #91 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by sooneron View Post
 

Seriously? Monitoring bathing? Put away the jump to conclusions mat and exaggerations.

 

My guess is that you don't have kids. Correct? If I am correct in this, you really have no dog in this fight and you should bow out of the conversation...

 

1. My kids' names are not on the title or deed to our house. If anything happens there that endangers another kid, I/we are liable for that. You must not understand the litigious nature of today's society. We have an alarm system and when our kids get to the teenager years, I can promise you that a couple of cams will be added. 

2. We are talking about a FIFTEEN year old. A girl, at that. Sorry, but that needs to be pointed out. If my daughter (6 going on 19) were a future Rhodes Finalist, I would not leave her alone at home for a weekend!

 

The only way that I would leave my kid behind would be if she is staying at a friend's house and I would have to know their parents VERY well. Like best friends well. Even then, that is asking a lot from someone that isn't family.

haha. You think that was me exaggerating? That was me accusing someone else of exaggerating (to a ridiculous degree). There's a difference. I never advocated leaving a 15-year old home alone for a week, and I'm not sure if anyone has, but you can keep attacking a straw man if you like. 

 

I'm also not sure why you think the claim "people under 18 are entitled to some degree of privacy" shows a lack of understanding of litigation. 

post #92 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

Family Skiing Discussions

th_dunno-1%5B1%5D.gif

Really though, important stuff to consider when off skiing without your teens right? Sorry for the thread jack, should close it or move part to the lounge..
I agree; electronic privacy and general questions of individuation and differentiation are pretty much the kinds of things I try to forget about when I'm skiing.

OTOH, I'm still jealous that the OP lets his daughter play saxophone. Drums, saxophone and trumpet were quickly nixed when it came time to pick a band instrument frown.gif (we're a very musical family, so I'd already been playing piano for three years), and I was allowed to choose between oboe, clarinet, and flute. Fortunately I instinctively avoided the oboe even though I like listening to it, and the flute turned out to be not a terrible choice when I played jazz later in high school and college, but who knows, if I played the sax from age 12 on, maybe I'd still be at it.

OTOOH, in that scenario I might not have become the first person in my extended family to move out west and take up outdoors endeavors other than sailing little Sunfish on little lakes or gardening.

OTOOOH, I just learned that my little brother, the finance guy in Connecticut, has started taking the wife and kids skiing, which just goes to show that you just can't say how things will turn out.

Best of luck to the OP, if you're still reading. Having been a 15 year old girl, I have a lot of sympathy for your plight, but the fact that you're sad but aren't angrily taking it as a complete rejection is really admirable. IMO, your daughter is lucky to have such a dad.
Edited by litterbug - 3/2/14 at 5:18pm
post #93 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by litterbug View Post

and the flute turned out to be not a terrible choice when I played jazz later in high school and college, but who knows, if I played the sax from age 12 on, maybe I'd still be at it.

Fingering on the sax and flute are very similar.  Learning a sax embouchure is pretty simple compared to breath support and musical skills you've already learned.  Learning a second instrument is easy compared to learning the first one.  It's not too late!

post #94 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Posaune View Post

Fingering on the sax and flute are very similar.  Learning a sax embouchure is pretty simple compared to breath support and musical skills you've already learned.  Learning a second instrument is easy compared to learning the first one.  It's not too late!
That's very sweet, but 35 years later I'd have to endure a long period of sore cheeks, and so far as I know there's no weight training regime for embouchure. wink.gif I did sometimes steal other people's soprano and alto saxes for a session and loooooved them. But then I had a row with my folks and dropped out to travel and work, then went back and got a geology degree, which seemed to require singing a lot of harmony and pretending I could play the spoons with my bluegrass buddies, the Endless Tuning String Band, as we called them, then moved to a-cultural Canyonlands and odd-cultural mid-80's Moab, then went to law school, then became a gubbinment lawyer...a downward spiral that resulted in my lonely flute being buried somewhere between boxes in the storage room. It could be time to reclaim some of my pre-crazy self.

You're right, it takes far less muscle control to make a tolerable noise on a sax than a flute, and the sax was one of my first choices anyway. But a couple years ago I rented a guitar for a winter and had a gas picking out chording in Rolling Stones and Pink Floyd songs, and as a plus I could sing along. Maybe I'll look around in pawn shops. OTOH, I really don't know anything about guitars, but I do know what to look for in woodwinds and reed instruments. Still, how do you try out a sax that's been sitting in a pawn shop for who knows how long? Bring your own reed and a bottle of alcohol to disinfect the mouthpiece? eek.gif

And how far off topic do you think we can take this thread before it gets shut down? roflmao.gif
post #95 of 116

My older kid's been playing piano for five years.  He expressed interest in trumpet so I got a used one.  When he found out it was more than just blowing in to it and pushing 3 buttons his interest plummeted.  Then he got a crush on another girl at school that plays flute.  He suddenly wanted to play flute so he could be in concert band with her.  I told him better to keep his eye on her from a distance and get back on the trumpet.  Just for kicks though I also picked up a used flute.  Then, he found that the flute also requires a lot of precision and special technique beyond just blowing across the hole to get the resonance and pushing buttons to change the pitch.  Finding out that most of what it takes to play different notes is way beyond pushing different buttons for both he's back to piano.  He did "go steady" with the girl for about half if the 6th grade, taking her to the movies on a real date and all.  But, they've figured out that going steady at age 11 doesn't make much sense so they're just really good friends for now.

 

Anyway, the whims made good excuse to expand the quiver of instruments available in my little studio in spite of the fact that I can only play one fairly well:o  Lil sis is also playing piano.  I have dreams of an all family band someday:D

post #96 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclist View Post

We have a trip planned in a few weeks to go to Alta and Pow Mow and she asked her mom if she could just stay home instead.

 

Party at the Cyclist house, parents away!!!

 

At 15, she's going on the family vacation.  

post #97 of 116

This thread caught my eye - I can relate to your pain!  I agree w/ the assessment that it's normal teen behavior.   We have the same syndrome in our house.   My 15 yo isn't thrilled to be going skiing with us, but knows he doesn't have a choice.  While he's expressed dis-interest at home - one of his friends parents told me how excited he is about our upcoming trip, hum.   Sometimes they just need to have some control.   We have learned to compromise on our ski trips - with a nod to the teenager set, we aren't always on the first lifts of the day, and we always make sure to do an apre ski with teen set friendly beverages and snacks that we might not have at home (hey we're on vacation and burning calories!)   Some of my favorite memories now are kids retelling tales of ski runs as we sit in the hot tub or around a fire pit after a day of skiing.   

 

 

Kids are so much busier than when we were kids.   They do need their downtime to sleep in,  recharge, and to learn how to enjoy "just being".   I know my son will complain about the pace of our ski trip - but I also know he'll be boasting how he killed some blacks in Colorado over spring break.    Even if your daughter's friend doesn't go - let her make some decisions/choices about the trip too - whether if it's getting to pick a dinner spot or menu, or start time for the day, or offer to swap out a day to do another activity (tubing, sleigh ride, or schedule her for a lesson to ski w/ other tortured teens).   Let the kids knock off a bit early and hang out w/ a soda and catch up w/ their friends via texting while you take another spin with your wife.   Sometimes you have to change your definition of a "great ski day" to accommodate the teenagers.

post #98 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

Finding out that most of what it takes to play different notes is way beyond pushing different buttons for both he's back to piano.  He did "go steady" with the girl for about half if the 6th grade, taking her to the movies on a real date and all.  But, they've figured out that going steady at age 11 doesn't make much sense so they're just really good friends for now.
Whisper in his ear that there are a ton of easy little partitas and whatnot for piano and flute; he could get the sheet music and work on it with her. I found out in college that for a musician, there are few things that have the potential to be more intimate than working on a piece together with someone you really like. For good friends, it creates a real strong bond; for others, it can be a lot more. redface.gif

Just don't let him date a bass player. It's just not worth it. wink.gif I hear the same about drummers, but I never fell for one myself. rolleyes.gif
post #99 of 116

We went through this sort of thing with our son when he was about 15.  They don't want to be seen with "old coots" and would much rather spend time with their friends.  We went to Bonaire for a week of scuba diving and mostly he wanted to hang out at an internet cafe "chatting" with his then girlfriend.  My wife and I went diving without him.  He never balked at going skiing, he would just vanish on the mountain for several hours.  He's 23 now and we just spent a week skiing at Grand Targhee and Alta and had a lot of fun doing it.  It is a stage that every teenager goes through, I remember being the same way.

post #100 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by litterbug View Post


Whisper in his ear that there are a ton of easy little partitas and whatnot for piano and flute; he could get the sheet music and work on it with her. I found out in college that for a musician, there are few things that have the potential to be more intimate than working on a piece together with someone you really like. For good friends, it creates a real strong bond; for others, it can be a lot more. redface.gif

Just don't let him date a bass player. It's just not worth it. wink.gif I hear the same about drummers, but I never fell for one myself. rolleyes.gif

My brother is a bass player. This strikes me as good advice. 

post #101 of 116

Drummers? Dangerous.

 

http://youtu.be/TW6W9iOjTKM

post #102 of 116
Thread Starter 
THIS IS THE OP !

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Just so we don't get out of hand with the thread, I would like to say that I honestly get what every good body has written here and I have not nor will misinterpret posts. I've been around many Internet forum blocks the past 15 odd years and gained wisdom enough to understand how threads like these work. Thanks for all the suggestions, opinions, and reactions to my original post. What really triggered it all was the sudden realization that the little kid that gave me so much joy while she bombed down that hill for ten years has grown up and expressed that she is now ready to fly out of the nest. Its a big deal for me and for many of you too.

Mrs. Cyclist and I have been discussing this thread for the past three days. I personally HAVE LEARNED so much just reading it and listening to everybody's opinions. At the end of the day - it basically amounts to me having to grow up myself and understanding that the kid is no longer just a little girl but a developing person - hopefully, with our guidance - for the better. I sat down with her the other night and told her about this forum. Here is what she said (in gist):

"PAPA, you wrote about me in the Internet?!" (After explaining that we remain totally anonymous, she eventually she found it amusing.)
"I don't have a boyfriend. My standards are too high."
"You can read my email anytime. Mama does, I don't care. There is nothing there."
"I will invite two friends on the ski trip, but they might not afford it."

THE MOST IMPORTANT thing she said was:

"Maybe I will write someting in Epicski with my point of view. How much will I get paid for this? There is a concert in June I want to go to."

So, everyone, she might just make a post soon enough. But she wants me to promise to get her concert tickets.

Will keep you guys posted....

Thanks for everything.
post #103 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclist View Post

Genteel men!

THIS IS THE OP HERE!

Just so we don't get out of hand with the thread, I would like to say that I honestly get what every good body has written here and I have not nor will misinterpret posts. I've been around many Internet forum blocks the past 15 odd years and gained wisdom enough to understand how threads like these work. Thanks for all the suggestions, opinions, and reactions to my original post. What really triggered it all was the sudden realization that the little kid that gave me so much joy while she bombed down that hill for ten years has grown up and expressed that she is now ready to fly out of the nest. Its a big deal for me and for many of you too.

Mrs. Cyclist and I have been discussing this thread for the past three days. I personally HAVE LEARNED so much just reading it and listening to everybody's opinions. At the end of the day - it basically amounts to me having to grow up myself and understanding that the kid is no longer just a little girl but a developing person - hopefully, with our guidance - for the better. I sat down with her the other night and told her about this forum. Here is what she said (in gist):

"PAPA, you wrote about me in the Internet?!" (After explaining that we remain totally anonymous, she eventually she found it amusing.)
"I don't have a boyfriend. My standards are too high."
"You can read my email anytime. Mama does, I don't care. There is nothing there."
"I will invite two friends on the ski trip, but they might not afford it."

THE MOST IMPORTANT thing she said was:

"Maybe I will someting in Epicski to all your friends. Will I get paid for this? There is a concert in June I want to go to."

So, everyone, she might just make a post soon enough. But she wants me to promise to get her concert tickets.

Will keep you guys posted....

Thanks for everything.

 

 I'm 51 and still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up, so I know how you feel.

post #104 of 116

Good for her.  I like her attitude.  

I think you should say yes to the tickets, on condition that her participation here has merit.  Oh dear, if you do that you'll have to identify the criteria of "merit."  

Parent trap!

post #105 of 116
Just goes to show that the learning moments never end. Just when you think you've got a grip on what's going on something comes along and turns it all upside down. The day that stops happening is the day your brain starts to shrink, so we should all hope that we never find ourselves without challenges to our assumptions about how our world works.
post #106 of 116

I think you should purchase the concert tickets, good seats, and :devil: get two more for you and Mrs Cyclist right next to her and her friends:newkeyboard::yahoo::rotflmao: 

 

But don't tell her you also have tickets..  Show up there and surprise her!:eek:nono:


Edited by crgildart - 3/3/14 at 3:29pm
post #107 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

I think you should purchase the concert tickets, good seats, and devil.gif get two more for you and Mrs Cyclist right next to her and her friends:newkeyboard: yahoo.gifroflmao.gif  

But don't tell her you also have tickets..  Show up there and surprise her!eek.gifnonono2.gif

Yes!!!
post #108 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclist View Post

THIS IS THE OP !
. I sat down with her the other night and told her about this forum. Here is what she said (in gist):


"I will invite two friends on the ski trip, but they might not afford it."

THE MOST IMPORTANT thing she said was:

"Maybe I will write someting in Epicski with my point of view. How much will I get paid for this? There is a concert in June I want to go to."

So, everyone, she might just make a post soon enough. But she wants me to promise to get her concert tickets.

Will keep you guys posted....

Thanks for everything.

Awesome - she skipped straight to the "bankroll" bit of the negotiation.  Smart girl.  I hope you say yes on the tix, not as a hostage situation to be repeated ad infinitum but as a goodwill gesture for good behaviour.


Edited by fatbob - 3/4/14 at 12:57pm
post #109 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by tarvolon View Post
 

haha. You think that was me exaggerating? That was me accusing someone else of exaggerating (to a ridiculous degree). There's a difference. I never advocated leaving a 15-year old home alone for a week, and I'm not sure if anyone has, but you can keep attacking a straw man if you like. 

 

I'm also not sure why you think the claim "people under 18 are entitled to some degree of privacy" shows a lack of understanding of litigation. 

So you don't have kids, gotcha. Please, just move along...

post #110 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by sooneron View Post
 

So you don't have kids, gotcha. Please, just move along...

I have kids and I agree with him...

post #111 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by segbrown View Post
 

I have kids and I agree with him...

There's a difference between a degree of privacy:making sure your teenager isn't having a full blown kegger while you're gone or none: putting surveillance in a kids's bathroom or bedroom.

post #112 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by sooneron View Post
 

There's a difference between a degree of privacy

Which is EXACTLY what I said in the first place. 

post #113 of 116

So.....

Are teens better off on western groomers or eastern groomers? We'll exclude Hunter and Mountain Creek for the east. Maybe Keystone for the west?

post #114 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tog View Post
 

So.....

Are teens better off on western groomers or eastern groomers? We'll exclude Hunter and Mountain Creek for the east. Maybe Keystone for the west?

Depends on which resort has better webcams..

post #115 of 116
Thread Starter 
Her letter will be posted here soon....
post #116 of 116

With your savings on lift tickets and dinners, you can get yourself a pair of this year's hottest skis....you'll forget all about it when you're knee deep at Pow Mow gettin' face-shots! 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: General Skiing Discussion
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › On the Snow (Skiing Forums) › General Skiing Discussion › My teen ager has decided to stop skiing - a sad day for me.