or Connect
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › EpicSki Community › Community Discussions & Forum News › I'm officially an idiot so celebrate with me
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm officially an idiot so celebrate with me - Page 3

post #61 of 83

I once (so far) did the classic one: Drove into the garage with my $4,000 bike on top of my $2,000 car. (Fortunately I was moving very slowly and detected the problem in time to prevent catastrophic damage to the bike. The bike rack was another matter.) Yes, I know there are many tricks people have resorted to to prevent this, such as putting the garage remote inside your bike glove. Of course you then have to remember to invoke the trick.

post #62 of 83
Ditto, with variations. I always take my windsurfer apart at the lake, except when I didn't.
"Oh I will just leave the car in the driveway and take the fin out later."
Right...
post #63 of 83
Thread Starter 

Had a new AC & Furnace unit installed.  Not a month before that I had installed a new digital thermostat.  Well the new AC/Furnace wouldn't work so the installer is checking everything while I check the settings on the thermostat and still no go.  The installer has a couple of new thermostats I can buy, but I didn't really care for what he had.  So off to Home Depot to get another one.  Upon my return I set about to remove the non functioning one and low and behold I notice that on/off switch.

 

Neither the installer nor I bothered to look at that.  Two idiots for the price of one.

post #64 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by jgiddyup View Post

Two idiots for the price of one.

Bargain!
post #65 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by skier_j View Post

Truly an uneventful story.  The map on wall is close to 50 years old and documents driving trips we took when I was a kid.  To the right on that shelf is where I store boots in the offseason.  That printer stand/box/lampshade has been right where it is in this picture forever.

Awhile back, in prep for a family get together this summer, I wanted some pictures of the map showing the pins and threads marking the various driving trips.  So I moved that whole stand/box/shade  thang to the right side of the shelve to take pictures.  There was a liner sitting there so to make room,  into the shade it goes.  The boot was on my bench being used to resize bindings that had been moved to allow someone to test a ski.

After the pictures were taken I moved the stuff back.
So innocent....yet so consequential. I had to laugh aloud, though a little wryly, because I could tell a thousand stories like that. ADD, age, whatever. redface.gif

As for garage incidents, I was all excited about my first ever roof top box picked up on some kind of double discount at REI, so I left it on for a while even though it was far from ski season. Of course I hadn't adjusted to the change in the car's shape, so it wasn't long before I was leaving the office late in the day, swiped my card for the garage door, and just proceeded as though I were going to do my usual bit of driving out as soon as my roof would clear the door. I wasn't going very fast, but the clamps attaching it to the rack buckled as I imagine they're supposed to do and the box shot off the back.

Fortunately for me there was only one guy in the garage at the time, and he was delighted that I'd evened the score for me having pointed out something very basic he missed while we opposed each other during a mock trial a few months before.tongue.gif I had to replace three clamps, but the box was undamaged, although my dignity took a little hit.
post #66 of 83

Sometimes Idiots find redemption.

 

I lost expensive car keys 4 months ago. The Prius continued to run without

the keys (long story involving a second set of keys transmitting under the seat)

 

Replaced and given up as lost then out of the clear blue  2days ago the local library called to say sone one turned the keys in to them. Turns out they hung all winter on a hook below a stop sign

5 miles from home.  Still work !  Nice lady took them to the library. The library scanned the

attached library card and called me.

post #67 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdf View Post

Ditto, with variations. I always take my windsurfer apart at the lake, except when I didn't.
"Oh I will just leave the car in the driveway and take the fin out later."
Right...

 

The thing is, it almost fits even with the fin.

Looking up at the top of the garage opening.

post #68 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by litterbug View Post


So innocent....yet so consequential. I had to laugh aloud, though a little wryly, because I could tell a thousand stories like that. ADD, age, whatever. redface.gif

As for garage incidents, I was all excited about my first ever roof top box picked up on some kind of double discount at REI, so I left it on for a while even though it was far from ski season. Of course I hadn't adjusted to the change in the car's shape, so it wasn't long before I was leaving the office late in the day, swiped my card for the garage door, and just proceeded as though I were going to do my usual bit of driving out as soon as my roof would clear the door. I wasn't going very fast, but the clamps attaching it to the rack buckled as I imagine they're supposed to do and the box shot off the back.

Fortunately for me there was only one guy in the garage at the time, and he was delighted that I'd evened the score for me having pointed out something very basic he missed while we opposed each other during a mock trial a few months before.tongue.gif I had to replace three clamps, but the box was undamaged, although my dignity took a little hit.

 

Somewhere I have told my story of getting my car with roofbox trapped inside the parking garage of a fancy mall here. It was quite the ordeal to find a spot where I could open the box to empty it (had to go perpendicular to the parking spots because of the way the concrete beams run), then empty the box and take it off (almost dropped it off the second story outside), and try to secure it inside the car (didn't quite fit but that's why God made bungie cords). Meanwhile the security guard was driving around laughing at me the whole time.

 

Then I went in to do my errand, which I didn't want to do in the first place, and when I finally found what I needed to try on, I realized I had my pants on backwards and the saggy butt part made me look like i had been walking around with a boner the whole time. (See, I actually am a dude.) 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post
 

Not sure that my idiot moment ranks up there with other fun stories here but.....

I often wear an insulated skirt to the mountain and change into my ski pants at the mountain.   

One day I booted up, and was ready to go before I realized I forgot to put my pants on. :eek

 

I've put my boots on before pants way to many times to count.... usually in the condo, though. 

post #69 of 83
segbrown's pants story reminded me of the time I went with friends in their car for a long drive to a really long hike way early in the morning. I was drinking a huge cup of coffee to get ready for the day, and when we finally got to the trailhead in early morning gloom, I bolted from the car and hauled ass to get behind a tree so I could take a very badly needed leak. I yanked down my zipper and started fishing for my junk...but I couldn't reach it! I kept rummaging around trying to get into my boxers and allow that sweet (and much-needed) relief. Guess who had put their boxers on backwards when getting dressed at 4:30 am? I was dancing from foot to foot in a growing panic trying to figure out what the problem was until it finally dawned on me.

I am an official idiot.
post #70 of 83

“For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?”


― Mr. Bennett, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

post #71 of 83
Thread Starter 

There would appear to be a lot of "boneheaded junk" going on in these posts;):D

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by segbrown View Post
 

 

Somewhere I have told my story of getting my car with roofbox trapped inside the parking garage of a fancy mall here. It was quite the ordeal to find a spot where I could open the box to empty it (had to go perpendicular to the parking spots because of the way the concrete beams run), then empty the box and take it off (almost dropped it off the second story outside), and try to secure it inside the car (didn't quite fit but that's why God made bungie cords). Meanwhile the security guard was driving around laughing at me the whole time.

 

Then I went in to do my errand, which I didn't want to do in the first place, and when I finally found what I needed to try on, I realized I had my pants on backwards and the saggy butt part made me look like i had been walking around with a boner the whole time. (See, I actually am a dude.) 

 

 

 

I've put my boots on before pants way to many times to count.... usually in the condo, though. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Lee View Post

segbrown's pants story reminded me of the time I went with friends in their car for a long drive to a really long hike way early in the morning. I was drinking a huge cup of coffee to get ready for the day, and when we finally got to the trailhead in early morning gloom, I bolted from the car and hauled ass to get behind a tree so I could take a very badly needed leak. I yanked down my zipper and started fishing for my junk...but I couldn't reach it! I kept rummaging around trying to get into my boxers and allow that sweet (and much-needed) relief. Guess who had put their boxers on backwards when getting dressed at 4:30 am? I was dancing from foot to foot in a growing panic trying to figure out what the problem was until it finally dawned on me.

I am an official idiot.
post #72 of 83

I want to thank you all for your testimonies...I was turning 49 today and I must tell that reading all your posts, I felt better about getting one year older...

post #73 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by mogsie View Post

I want to thank you all for your testimonies...I was turning 49 today and I must tell that reading all your posts, I felt better about getting one year older...
According to the DIN chart, you aren't old until next year.
post #74 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdf View Post


According to the DIN chart, you aren't old until next year.

True! I never tought of it this way...:-)

post #75 of 83

Years ago My girlfriend and I had the opportunity to take a trip to the East Coast to visit a couple friends and tour around, with no particular destination in or itinerary in mind, we had 1 way air tickets to Boston, and had no real plan on when to come back or how.  It was not a trip where we planned to ski, so we did not take any ski gear, just our cameras and backpacks of clothes etc.  We went in December so winter was on the way.  After our first friends in Boston threw us out after week, we headed to Connecticut to visit some other friends, thence rented a car to explore around.  After driving up to Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont we returned to Connecticut where our friends invited us to a Condo they shared at Killington to ski.  My buddy offered to help me save money on rentals by using his old skis. (Idiot moment 1) At the mountain, I rented boots and clipped into the old skis, and we proceeded to race around the mountain, trying to prove who could ski fastest.  My buddy's friend (idiot moment 2) dropped his gloves on the Skye Peak Lift near to closing time, and we were lodged on the other side of the mountain.  Stomping around in the snow under the lift in the pucker bushes trying to find the glove, one of my skis came unclipped!  I stomped my foot on it to clip back in and it wouldn't clip! Yep you guessed it, the old binding was broken by all the abuse I had given it!  (idiot moment 3)  My buddy and other friends had already skied down and loaded to ride up and ski to the other side of the mountain, as I skied down on one ski (Idiot moment 4)  At the bottom I told my buddy's friend to have my buddy drive over to the lodge and pick me up, not realizing it was a LONG drive around (Idiot moment 5).  Sitting in the lodge drinking beer for several hours, it never occurred to me to ask the ski patrol to give me a sled ride back!  (Idiot moment 6).  (Seriously, it was years before I thought of hitting up the ski patrol for a ride!)  My buddy finally makes it around to pick me up and all is good!  Best line of the ski trip:  "Dude!  You broke my skis!"  :hopmad:  

 

A few more of these and all was Ok!:beercheer: 

post #76 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by levy1 View Post


Just the tip so that could never happen again. In scuba class we were taught to layout or scuba suit and everything that we needed to wear on the floor in other words dress ourselves completly because when you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean and you are missing a piece of equipment you're not going to be diving.
Now before going skiing or any other sport everything gets laid out on the floor completely and then I pack.

was diving in little caymen,  forgot to turn my air on, dropped overboard and was sinking fast, tried to put air in my BC, no doing. no breathing either. couldn't reach back and turn valve so I had to unhook  one shoulder on BC to reach air valve. felt so good to have that air on!!!!!

post #77 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by darent View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by levy1 View Post

Just the tip so that could never happen again. In scuba class we were taught to layout or scuba suit and everything that we needed to wear on the floor in other words dress ourselves completly because when you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean and you are missing a piece of equipment you're not going to be diving.

Now before going skiing or any other sport everything gets laid out on the floor completely and then I pack.
was diving in little caymen,  forgot to turn my air on, dropped overboard and was sinking fast, tried to put air in my BC, no doing. no breathing either. couldn't reach back and turn valve so I had to unhook  one shoulder on BC to reach air valve. felt so good to have that air on!!!!!
You were very lucky a lot of people don't survive their first panic situation in Scuba. Your mistake was not that you didn't turn on your air but that you didn't check your regulator before you went into the water.
post #78 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by levy1 View Post


You were very lucky a lot of people don't survive their first panic situation in Scuba. Your mistake was not that you didn't turn on your air but that you didn't check your regulator before you went into the water.

that is how accidents happen,let your mind wonder and don't do your usual safety  routine!!,I have done hundreds of dives  and never made that little error, woke me up!!!!

post #79 of 83

I cant imagine. After working in a scuba shop as a asst dive helper for 10 years I wasn't prepared for my first panic attack. I was in that little 30 ft cavern in Crystal River, home of the Manatees and I had a little to much air in by BC. I floated to the top and busted my head on some staglites. I immediately went into a panic flailing my arms and breathing hard. I was totally freaked out and after a what seemed like several minutes I was able to talk to myself and calm down. I then let some air out, swam out of the cavern, back to the boat. I had to sit for about 30 minutes but then I refilled and went back into the cavern thinking if I did not get over my fear I would stop diving. All was OK after that. I have done over 200 checkout dives with students and it show me that anyone can get in a panic situation but you have to get yourself together which is where the training comes in. I always cringe when I see the one day scuba lessons at the resorts!

post #80 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by levy1 View Post

You were very lucky a lot of people don't survive their first panic situation in Scuba. Your mistake was not that you didn't turn on your air but that you didn't check your regulator before you went into the water.

Granted I haven't been on SCUBA in almost 20 years, but if I recall, the step that was missed is called "the buddy check". You check my gear and I check yours.
post #81 of 83

When I was a kid I heard that waxing would help make my skis faster, but I didn't know anything about it. I grabbed the first thing in the shop that said ski wax on it and ended up applying something called "nordic grip wax" to my alpine skis. Yeah, it wasn't so fast.

post #82 of 83

Back in the '70s I was on ski patrol at Stevens Pass.  One evening one of my buddies and I were staying the night in the patrol building and were done for the day.  One of us got the great idea to go out back of the building, sit in the snow, fire up a doob, and watch traffic on the highway.  We were situated right above the roadway on the tall bank of snow.  It had snowed recently, or possibly was snowing at the time, I don't remember which.  Anyway, here came the snow blower on our side of the highway.  We were in an altered state at that point and enjoyed watching that huge machine eating up the snow and throwing it and all of the other crap (ice balls, sand, etc.) that happened to be along the edge of the highway high in the air and back off the road.

 

No comprehension here, at all.  Hey, we were young and stupid.

 

Anyway, the thing got close to directly below us when we finally realized that all of that crap it was throwing was about to land on our heads.  It would have been somewhat ugly.

 

I wish I had a video of us as we tried to scramble away from the edge in a panic, post-holing like mad, falling, scrambling.  We made it, but only by the barest of margins.  As we were fond of saying: "Far out, man."

post #83 of 83

Gatekeeping the Silver Belt race at Sugar Bowl in the early 70's.  My Dad was racing and I would get free tickets for gatekeeping.  For reasons unknown, my buddy down a few gates gave me a ride on the backs of his skis.  He yelled 'duck'. I said what?.  About then I took a rope across the neck and got a trip to the er.  Still have a scar.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › EpicSki Community › Community Discussions & Forum News › I'm officially an idiot so celebrate with me