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I may be an atheist but will I go to hell for thinking this story is funny?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

Golf story about crocodile attack in Cancun

Note reference to the other attack at the same course - guy lost fingers?

 

Do the rules of golf count a machete as an extra club?

What about using grenades to clear out brush before you take your stance? Would that be improving your lie?

No wait - I've got the perfect invention idea for Quirky! A flame thrower attachment for your golf bag.

 

I guess the season is coming to an end.

post #2 of 13

90s movies

 

 

 

All i could think of was Happy Gilmore

post #3 of 13

just found this...

 

 

A severed hand and the alligator that bit it off.

post #4 of 13

While I get gallows humor, I'm from Florida and it's a real issue. There's a lot of croc habitat in south Biscayne Bay, the northern Keys and the Everglades, those are some of my favorite fishing spots and you have to be very careful because crocs are pretty aggressive. Alligators not so much unless people have fed them, but they have been known to attack (and kill) little kids. About 20 years ago some guy playing a ball in the rough near a pond strayed behind his group and never showed up; they eventually found him inside a REALLY big 'gator.

 

Check out this sign in my FIL's neighborhood, it's a gated community of multi-million dollar homes in Coral Gables. There's a Ferrari parked in the driveway behind the sign:

post #5 of 13

Can you swap the 9 - iron for a 9mm without incurring a penalty?

post #6 of 13

a .45 is much preferred for that kind of "shot"  

post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 

awesome guys - keep em coming!

 

Wouldn't a .45 have too much bounce for that shot?

post #8 of 13

I am not a blastics expert but I would think it has much better stopping power than a 9. You want that bullet to flatten out/tumble on impact. I think the 9 (depending  on load strength) would go right through that gator? 

post #9 of 13
Thread Starter 

Guess that joke bounced right over your head....

post #10 of 13

apparently. 

post #11 of 13

Long joke......

 

A new course opened in equatorial Africa.  A visiting golfer was assigned a caddie who told him never to stray of the fairway.  On the first hole, a par four, the golfer's tee shot dribbled into the right rough.  Ignoring the caddie's advice, he addressed the ball only to be horrified to see a charging rhino.  The caddie shot the rhino and saved the golfer's life.  He repeated the admonition to stay in the fairway.  On the next hole, a par five, the player repeated his error and was saved again by the caddie; this time from a charging lion.  Feeling confident in the caddie's prowess with his big hunting rifle, the golfer took at aim at the green on the third hole, a 154 yard par three.  He overclubbed and the ball stopped near a pond over the green.  As he was addressing the ball, a giant crocodile emerged from the water and began dragging him away.  The golfer screamed to his caddie to shoot but the caddie replied....

 

 

 

 

 

 

..............."Sorry but you don't get a shot on the par threes"

post #12 of 13

@mikewil golfed pretty exclusively in Florida the past few years.  I wonder if he had any alligator encounters. 

post #13 of 13


@Trekchick I've seen a few "walking shoes" on the Florida courses but no close calls. Which reminds me of a Phil Story. He was playing a few years ago with a young player whose name escapes me now-I think it was Keegan. It started to rain and the young player asks Phil who was wearing alligator shoes if he preferred leather or alligator in the rain. Phil rolls his eyes and asks who does better in the rain, a cow or an alligator.

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