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Whats the general opinion on pole plants these days?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

Whats the general opinion these days? Should we teach pole plants to kidds and if we do, when and why?

post #2 of 10

tdk6, there's a recent thread on just this topic:

http://www.epicski.com/t/122661/introducing-kids-to-ski-poles-where-to-start

post #3 of 10
I wish I could draw. If I could, I would draw pole plants the way I imagine them, sort of like I would draw the birds that grow from birdseed. Daniel Pinkwater, where are you when we need you?
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 

Thanksk LF

post #5 of 10

"Whats the general opinion on pole plants these days?"

You mean since it's the growing season again?

 

Well there's some dispute as usual. ("Some" is putting it mildly) Everyone agrees that you need vermiculite in the soil or a substitute since the town that mined vermiculite is killing off its inhabitants by simply letting them live there. (A Death Tax for the Living. Town folk now crying: "Taxes are too high!")

 

So there's that. Watering twice a day when it's hot is the best, but they can go a week without water if you're desperate.

Where to plant?

In general, the environmentalists would prefer you recycle rear entry boots and grow them in there. They have the advantage of being able to open them easily to observe the roots. I know, where to find them these days right? Try rental shops or those "Second hand" sports stores.

Most people use some sort of random plastic tub, 5lb coffee can etc. There's also the standard "Look, I turned my old ski boots into a Pole Plant" routine. Lately, people have added Led's for some nice effects at night.

 

When to transplant and how to feed etc are up for debate.

 

I subscribe to the "transplant when it will bend in the wind " school. That's when they're tall enough,thick enough. Seems to work fine. The other methods involve detailed physics and or chemistry equations.  If you plan on making the "Breaking Bad" of growing Pole Plants you really should look into those. I think they're listed in the "Growing Pole Plants For People Who Have a Brain, Not the Idiots" Book. Amazon wouldn't let me look at it since I don't have a Huge Prime Number Membership.

 

How to transplant?

Oy vey!  A messy subject in terms of getting the thing out. That's called Releasing it from the container.

 

How to release??

 

Well there's the "Flex to Release" school which claim it's the only proper way to do it and which leaves the roots strong for transplanting. Any possible other way and...well you might as well be an echo terrorist. (They yell a lot and can only hear themselves)

To do the FtR, you simply bend or flex the plastic container and let the Pole Plant fall out. Don't worry if it hits the ground, that's good for it. Builds character.

Controversy is of course that one can't always do that, the container is too stiff, too small, won't flex, or there's simply not enough room to do it.

The FtR School won't hear any of that, claiming that only an idiot would consider doing it any other way and the smallest child is capable of performing the maneuver.

 

I could detail all the other methods but it would just start a flame war.

 

"What if I just cut the container?" - Frequent question from a noob.

How about this- What if someone just drives over your kid's bike left out in the driveway? I mean please, it's a Pole Plant, show some respect!

 

"I hear if you play music to Pole Plants they grow better. What type?"

 Well obviously you could play classical and they'll grow just fine.

 Miles Davis? - If you could stand it all day, every day, (can you??), seems to lead to confused leaves, branches growing in circles, twisted trunks, etc. Those who do use it see all that as a plus. If you watched "Men Who Stared at Goats" and thought "I could do that", this is probably for you.

 

 Hip Hop? - Yeah...uh...anecdotal evidence suggests you'll end up with a Rottweiller and a Pit Bull chained to the plants. Be sure to have an atv to chase them down since the Pole Plants aren't nearly heavy enough. You'll have to put boxer shorts on the containers or you won't be able to live with them or yourself. You're 7 times more likely to be shot by your neighbor. Even if they're vegan, hot yoga practicing, buddhists and they have to go to a Gun Store to get it. The plants will have droopy branches and leaves. You won't be able to enter a store with all those "No Sagging Pole Plants Allowed in Store" signs. Still, the people who can get past all that think it's the only way.

 

Indie Rock?  - A safe bet though what that means these days is unclear. Could require flannel or leather Pole Plant cozys. You'll know which one. May lead to "Depressed Plant Syndrome" but if not should be fine.

 

Miley Cyrus? - Be warned you could be issued a summons for Twerking Pole Plants in view of a public street. If you're within 1000 feet of a school it's a Class B Misdemeanor.

 

In general the Pole Plant Season is looking good this year with seedling stock plentiful. It's how to grow them properly that no one agrees on.

post #6 of 10

Same as it has been for a long time.  In most situations the pole swing gets the job done, sometimes a light tap may be called for.  As the previous posters have eluded to & my first director said to me almost 40 yrs. ago "a plant is something you put in a pot"  With that said, you darn well better have a pole plant if you are going to ski anything really steep or have a chance in the moguls.

JF

post #7 of 10

Tog your funny. Do you write for anyone else?

post #8 of 10

Thanks Josh! No nowhere else now.

post #9 of 10
Thread Starter 

Tog, or should I say mr Chance, a tap on the shoulder for such great poetry :)

post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4ster View Post
 

Same as it has been for a long time.  In most situations the pole swing gets the job done, sometimes a light tap may be called for.  As the previous posters have eluded to & my first director said to me almost 40 yrs. ago "a plant is something you put in a pot"  With that said, you darn well better have a pole plant if you are going to ski anything really steep or have a chance in the moguls.

JF

 

I left out the pole plant at the beginning of the carving era. But only when carving. Then later the doctor ordered a pole tap and it was no big deal. Easily obtained. However, there are lots of jr racers not using any kind of tap or plant. And coaches that dont teach it. I wonder how its going to affect their all mountain skiing later on?

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