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Fear of Skiing: Relucant ski partners - this could help, it worked for my wife

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 

So there we are on our 8th Ski vacation and my wife is sitting at the bottom of the run next to our hotel with a face like thunder!  She loves the snowy mountains, the ski camaraderie, the food, the whole ski vacation experience but she is terrified of skiing or she was until last year!  I know you're all going to say why doesn't she have some one-to-one lessons with a sympathetic instructor, she's done that many times, in fact as far as technique goes, she's pretty damn good and understands the principles well (she's made a study of it) but that didn't change what was going on inside her head.

 

In desperation I looked for a sports psychologist but they are thin on the ground and you need deep pockets. So we looked for a cheaper alternative. We came across a CD on Amazon called Fear of Skiing by a  female author and therapist called Sharon Shinwell  who produces a CD specially made for nervous skiers, using Hypnotherapy and sports psychology techniques. It's not tuition. What attracted us was having read about this person, she is a skier and was nervous too at one time...so she understood where my wife was coming from.  Nothing to lose we thought.

 

My wife used the CD as instructed and took it on holiday as there was no way of seeing if it had worked at home. The transformation was quite amazing - don't get me wrong, she isn't going to throw herself down black runs any day soon, but she can at least now enjoy the reds, feeling confident and relaxed and better still, my ski vacations are assured for the future!  I am now a great believer in approaching skiing from different angles, like many sports, a lot depends on mental attitude not just physical skills. Just thought I'd share this if your snowy visits to the mountains are being threatening by a reluctant partner!

post #2 of 26

I could be wrong here, but this sure sounds like spam ......

 

"reds"?????

post #3 of 26
Thread Starter 

Hey,

 

You are wrong, I have no interest whatsoever, I was just telling my story. 'Reds' are one up from beginners in Europe.

post #4 of 26

I stand corrected

post #5 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by bridges228 View Post

Hey,

You are wrong, I have no interest whatsoever, I was just telling my story. 'Reds' are one up from beginners in Europe.

Which is weird to me. Red as a color seems like a warning, so I would have thought it was a double black without looking it up.
post #6 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by sibhusky View Post
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bridges228 View Post

Hey,

You are wrong, I have no interest whatsoever, I was just telling my story. 'Reds' are one up from beginners in Europe.

Which is weird to me. Red as a color seems like a warning, so I would have thought it was a double black without looking it up.

Colors depend on cultural norms.  In the west, black is the color for mourning but in the east white is the color to wear to a funeral.  Meaning in Europe historically vs. Asia.

post #7 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by bridges228 View Post
 

So there we are on our 8th Ski vacation and my wife is sitting at the bottom of the run next to our hotel with a face like thunder!  She loves the snowy mountains, the ski camaraderie, the food, the whole ski vacation experience but she is terrified of skiing or she was until last year!  I know you're all going to say why doesn't she have some one-to-one lessons with a sympathetic instructor, she's done that many times, in fact as far as technique goes, she's pretty damn good and understands the principles well (she's made a study of it) but that didn't change what was going on inside her head.

 

In desperation I looked for a sports psychologist but they are thin on the ground and you need deep pockets. So we looked for a cheaper alternative. We came across a CD on Amazon called Fear of Skiing by a  female author and therapist called Sharon Shinwell  who produces a CD specially made for nervous skiers, using Hypnotherapy and sports psychology techniques. It's not tuition. What attracted us was having read about this person, she is a skier and was nervous too at one time...so she understood where my wife was coming from.  Nothing to lose we thought.

 

My wife used the CD as instructed and took it on holiday as there was no way of seeing if it had worked at home. The transformation was quite amazing - don't get me wrong, she isn't going to throw herself down black runs any day soon, but she can at least now enjoy the reds, feeling confident and relaxed and better still, my ski vacations are assured for the future!  I am now a great believer in approaching skiing from different angles, like many sports, a lot depends on mental attitude not just physical skills. Just thought I'd share this if your snowy visits to the mountains are being threatening by a reluctant partner!

Have you ever heard of the book by Mermer Blakeslee called A Conversation with Fear?  She is a very experienced ski instructor who specializes in helping skiers overcome their fears.  The examples are taken mainly from her experience teaching on the slopes.

post #8 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sibhusky View Post


Which is weird to me. Red as a color seems like a warning, so I would have thought it was a double black without looking it up.

Taken from Wikipedia

 

In Europe, pistes are classified by a similar, colour-coded system, although shapes are not used (all ratings are circles). The ratings are:

Green
Learning or 'baby' slopes. These are usually not marked trails, but tend to be large open, gently sloping areas at the base of the ski area.

Blue
An easy trail, similar to the North American Green Circle, and are almost always groomed, or on so shallow a slope as not to need it.

Red
An intermediate slope. Steeper, or narrower than a blue slope, these are usually groomed, unless the narrowness of the trail prohibits it.

Black
An expert slope. Steep, may or may not be groomed, or may be groomed for moguls. It is worth noting that 'Black' can be a very wide classification, ranging from a slope marginally more difficult than a 'Red' to very steep avalanche chutes like the infamous Couloirs of Courchevel.

Yellow
In recent years, many resorts reclassified some black slopes to yellow slopes. This signifies a skiroute, an ungroomed and unpatrolled slope which is actually off-piste skiing in a marked area. Famous examples are the Stockhorn area in Zermatt and the Tortin slopes in Verbier. In Austria, skiroutes are usually marked with orange squares instead.

Alpine slope classification in Europe is less rigidly tied to slope angle than in North America. A lower angle slope may be classified as more difficult than a steeper slope if, for instance, it is narrower and/or requires better skiing ability to carry speed through flatter sections while controlling speed through sharp hairpin turns, off-camber slope angles or exposed rock.
post #9 of 26
Funny, I have had friends I know tell me that they wanted to ski with me, I told them my wife and I were going on this day. They said “oh you are skiing with your wife” with a look that said no fun on their faces. I told them wait and see. When we skied they could not keep up with my wife, she kicked their butts. I know lots of woman who can ski very well. You wife may get the bug and get over her fear, then look out world.
post #10 of 26
I thought my wife how to ski last year. She in her early thirties.

She skied from the time that she was little, but her parents didn't want to invest the money for quality ski lessons or the time to teach her themselves, so she never learned. All the years growing up she tried twisting her leg/ankle to make turns and had ski boots that were much to large for her (purchased on a big sale where the staff didn't have time to properly fit).

We went out and got correctly fitting boots, I encouraged her to spend many hours trying on boots to get ones that fit appropriately. Then we went to the early bunny hill, and I explained that skiers turn not by twisting legs and ankle, but by shifting weight. I'd ask her to lift her ski clear off the snow and then let her body follow the other ski as it naturally turned. She was very dubious, but tried it a few times and found that it worked. She made major improvements in skiing last winter and is excited to go this year.

Not really relevant to the original post, but my story of how I suceeded doing the unthinkable (teaching one's spouse).
post #11 of 26

Bridges228, I just recommended the CD to a friend based on your post.  It's going to be up to him whether he suggests it to his wife, who fits the target audience for it. 

 

I read Mermer Blakeslee's book (it used to be called "In the Yikes! Zone") and have had the pleasure of skiing with her.  She is a fantastic coach and skier.  I don't know if she's still doing it, but in the past she's been a guest coach at Snowbird's women's camps.  Definitely another approach toward the same goal - enjoying skiing.

post #12 of 26
Montana Skier, it sounds like she married the right guy. I have skied with a number of people that tell me they neer had a lesson,it shows. I think the only way ot to have lessons and ski well is to ski with good skiers, but then as they teach are taching you, you still are getting lessons.
post #13 of 26
Thread Starter 

Altanaut.

 

All I can say for is that without it, my skiing days would have been over. She was in last chance saloon and we would have had to look at some other kind of holiday. The cost of skiing from the UK is very high and it would have been hard for me to go on vacation without her. Now, she is enjoying our ski holidays as much as I am.

post #14 of 26

Mermer gives a fear clinic at Windham in New York State, and I think at Snowbird in Utah, too. I don't know the dates for this coming season, but I'm sure you could call the resort(s) and find out. She's a great coach and a fine individual, and many women's clinics, such Okemo's Women's Alpine Adventures, teach her principles as part of their programs.

post #15 of 26
Ski Diva, my wife belongs to a woman's ski club in Oregon, Skiyente.
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomfifield View Post

Ski Diva, my wife belongs to a woman's ski club in Oregon, Skiyente.

Cool!  Around since 1950. Maybe @Ski Diva could write a blog entry about them.

post #17 of 26

Maybe I will! :)

post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomfifield View Post

Ski Diva, my wife belongs to a woman's ski club in Oregon, Skiyente.

 


100 years ago i raced with and against the Ratpac or Fatpac of Oregon, they alway hung out with with the Skiente's. I did many of Jello Shooters in and out of the USA with them. Most of their names are forgotten but I remember a father and son that were in the electrical trade. The son was a long hair that charged cocktails to my room as a joke. A very kool head name Randy Free . I also remember a guy who alway had a boda bag that looked like Mr Vagas in Fast Time at Ridgemont High, I always looked for him at race time (he raced with a bota bag) . But the one thing that stands out in mind forever is a bar somewhere that was next to a huge ice rink where a Banker "catch me if you can racer" named Dale, who's future wife did a head plant into the drum set on stage where the live act was going to play. What a show stopper she was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tim SoCal
Edited by timski2 - 10/24/13 at 2:18am
post #19 of 26

Why do people feel the need to coerce others into doing things that they enjoy ?

post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossi Smash View Post
 

Why do people feel the need to coerce others into doing things that they enjoy ?

Are you married, Rossi?

post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiquidFeet View Post
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossi Smash View Post
 

Why do people feel the need to coerce others into doing things that they enjoy ?

Are you married, Rossi?

:D

post #22 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montana Skier View Post

I thought my wife how to ski last year. 

 

You got your wife to ski just by thinking it?!?!

That's Amazing!!!  ;)

post #23 of 26

Hi Guys,

I only just joined this forum and spotted this thread. Can I just say that my husband bought this CD for me and to quote the OP

"All I can say for is that without it, my skiing days would have been over"  Well this is where my husband was.

 

Brian had skied almost since he could walk but I never tried till I was 41. I had lots of lessons and knew the theory but could never seem to overcome my fears. After 4 thoroughly miserable experiences, the last in 2010. I went for hypnotherapy just before our trip to Obertauern in Austria but unfortunately, although I am sure she was a wonderful; therapist, she knew nothing of skiing so I felt I had just wasted my money and needless to say, for me the trip was a waste of money. There is nothing to do in Obertauern if you don't ski so I was thoroughly miserable. Thankfully Brian hooked up with some others and I agreed I would read some books for the week but this would be the last time.

 

Then about this time last year, we found confidentskier.com or should I say my husband did and he bought the CD for me. Well, to cut a long story short, after using it a few times, we had an hour on the indoor slope and the difference was amazing. We went to Alpes D'Huez in France and I had the time of my life. All I needed to do was get my head in the right place and that is what hypnosis did for me. Were going back to Obertauern in March, it owes me big time and I can't wait.

Bex x

post #24 of 26
At least you were willing to listen to the CD. I have a husband who is way beyond that stage. I know he wouldn't even listen. I don't even think I could put it in the car stereo and pretend it was for me. Glad it worked for you.
post #25 of 26

Sound like a bit of Macho stuff going on there. I must admit, for me, if the tables were turned Brian would be the same

Bex x

post #26 of 26

Hi there,

 

I am Sharon Shinwell,  the producer of this CD. Someone kindly told me that this thread was here so I thought I would sign up and take a look, I have heard similar stories so many times and it is pleasing to hear that I helped the OP. Having been in this situation myself, I can truly empathise.

 

I have to say, I love this website although being in the UK, I will probably never get to see all the wonderful resorts mentioned.

 

Regards

 

Sharon

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