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post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
A Canadian, an American, a Mexican, a Spaniard, an Italian, a German, a Dane, a Finn, a Russian, a Bulgarian, a Nigerian, a Kenyan, and an Australian walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "I'm sorry. I can't let you in without a Thai."
post #2 of 4
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CerebralVortex View Post

A Canadian, an American, a Mexican, a Spaniard, an Italian, a German, a Dane, a Finn, a Russian, a Bulgarian, a Nigerian, a Kenyan, and an Australian walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "I'm sorry. I can't let you in without a Thai."
Sorry, having problems with posting. Getting duplicates trying to sort out issues.
post #3 of 4

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

post #4 of 4

Two little boys 5yrs and 7yrs are laying in their bunk beds one night.  The 7yr olds says, "You know little Joe, I've been thinking.  It's time we started cussing."

"No way," says Little Joe. "We're not old enough."

"Well I'm 7," says the older one, "and I'm big enough, so I'm going to start saying H***."

"H***.  I'm big enough too," says Little Joe.

"Ok, but H*** is my word and you need to find your own."

After a few minutes, Little Joe says, "I heard some kids on the bus say "You can bet your A***' so I'm going to start saying that.

They chat for awhile and fall asleep to the tunes of "Oh H***" and "You can bet your A***".

The next morning they go down for breakfast and mom asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.  He answers, "Oh H***, give me corn flakes."  She winds up and smacks him so hard his chair moves backwards.  In a fury, she turns to the 5 year old and yells, "What do you want for breakfast?"

Shakily, Little Joe says, "I don't know, but you can bet your A*** that I don't want corn flakes!"

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