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Strangest chairlift conversation you ever had? - Page 2

post #31 of 54

I rode the lift with a guy who asked me if i liked beer and I said yes so he proceeded to pull a large growler of home brewed beer out of his jacket and shared it on the way up the lift.  That was a nice ride and some tasty beer.  He was in he process of starting a brewery apparently and I was an impromptu taste tester.

post #32 of 54
Val Thorens, Trois Vallées, France some time ago
Me (then 14) and my little brother (12). After a discussion about an article I read about sentient dolphins on the previous chair,a short cruise of a few minutes or so have my brother time to prepare his next slew of interrogations. No lift queue barring what looked like a lone local who finished checking his phone just in time to balance out the quad with us.
"So how did they KNOW the dolphins were sentient anyway?" His expression was suspicious.
"The scientists showed them a mirror, and the dolphins recognized themselves." Sensing objections I added "If they recognized themselves then they knew that they were a physical thing, and were able to handle the abstract concept of a self [he's a smart kid]. Most animals just go about doing things without thinking, if the dolphins knew about themselves they could apply themselves to things, which helped them be in social groups."
"No I meant how did the scientists know the dolphins recognized themselves? You said that stuff before."
"Oh. Well they inspected themselves."
"How? What did they do to themselves?"
"They stared at their own genitals, then compared them to other dolphins."
My brother took in this information, and pondered it whilst observing the landscape around him. He then looked across me at the guy on my left, and frowned. I looked too. He was clutching his poles and bag, looking the other way over the valley, but his arms were shaking violently. My brother and I shared a look.
The recent death of our beloved moggy was evidently preying on his mind. He sighed.
"Are cats sentient?" Hmm. The kind of question that could go badly wrong.
"Errm. Hmm. I don't know. Lions probably are, because they're social. I don't know about other cats." Again he considered this carefully.
"They are." Defiantly.
At this point the guy to my left emits a squeaking noise and begins shaking worse than before, covering his face.
"I don't know of any evidence either way, they could be I suppose."
"I bet they are. They're social. With people too." Left-guy cracks up.
post #33 of 54
(stupid touchscreen)
"Who cares they're cats! They don't care, they just eat your food and shit on your lawn [sic]. The only reason they purr is because it feels good for them! Why do you kids even care? Seriously?" About halfway through this rant interspersed with guffaws of laughter my brother sits back behind me, out of the guys line of sight.
Silence.
A low moaning cry from my right. Then my brother explodes into the righteous fury of a child wronged.
"Shut up! You don't know shit!" He screams through tears-"Maybe your cat is selfish and horrible and stupid but Mowly was special! Mowly was different! Mowly loved us! She was clever and kind and special! And sentient! And...and... and..." He trails off, blinded to further adjectives by rage. The bar goes up. We get off, the liftie sees a hysterical child and mashes the emergency stop, before running to my brother who pushes him aside, straps on his board binding in seconds, hopping to the nearest lip and charging down before anyone can get hold of him.
I look at the liftie, he stares open mouthed.
I look at the guy. He is actually in shock, shaking, sweating and pale.
"Arsehole." I say, and ski off after my brother.
post #34 of 54

I may have written about this before, but a couple of these stories spurred this memory:  I was skiing on a gray, sort-of spitting snow east coast day, when I suddenly found myself linked up with two other guys on the quad.  As we got to the line, I realized one of them was wearing a full-body wetsuit and nothing else.  He spent the whole chairlift ride explaining how wearing a wetsuit was a lot warmer than wearing regular ski pants and jacket.  He had long underwear top & bottom and then the wetsuit...and that was it. He looked like an overstuffed seal.  After awhile all I could think about was how far he would slide if he ever fell. 

post #35 of 54

Reposted from another thread:

 

......my 8 y/o daughter and I were stuck on a lift for a few minutes with a couple of teens who where looking at the mounded snow just below us and discussing the risks of jumping (not seriously – just wasting time). My little girl deadpans “If my dad farts we will all be jumping for our lives.”  We are nothing if not classy here in clan Alveolus.

post #36 of 54

I was writing a six person chairlift in Park city Utah. One of the other passengers decided to ask all of us to explain where we learned to ski.

 

When I explained I was from upstate New York, he said in a condescending tone:  " Where in the world would you learn to ski in upstate New York?

 

I said "Did you ever hear of Lake Placid ?".  "They held two Olympics there"

 

Turns out he was from Atlanta, go figure.

post #37 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

Thirty years and nothing I'd call really strange comes to mind.  That probably means that there are hundreds of stories others have about ME!  If you don't know which person it is then that person is probably you right?

 

I was riding the lift at Blue Knob this past weekend and this random dude started talking to me like he knew me...wink.gif

post #38 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alveolus View Post

Reposted from another thread:

 

......my 8 y/o daughter and I were stuck on a lift for a few minutes with a couple of teens who where looking at the mounded snow just below us and discussing the risks of jumping (not seriously – just wasting time). My little girl deadpans “If my dad farts we will all be jumping for our lives.”  We are nothing if not classy here in clan Alveolus.

 

You should have asked her to pull your finger :)

Cool dad!

post #39 of 54

Speaking of fingers … This happened about 5-6 years ago …A Guest Service volunteer in a red jacket left her walkie talkie on. Half way up, I hear, “We found the finger! Someone get some ice!” The volunteer sheepishly apologized to me and explained that someone had skied over the hand of a snowboarder. The finger was inside his glove.

post #40 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder Thighs View Post

Speaking of fingers … This happened about 5-6 years ago …A Guest Service volunteer in a red jacket left her walkie talkie on. Half way up, I hear, “We found the finger! Someone get some ice!” The volunteer sheepishly apologized to me and explained that someone had skied over the hand of a snowboarder. The finger was inside his glove.

I thought the apology would be for "somebody get ice".  Really?  can't find any source for frozen water around?

post #41 of 54

Plenty of frozen water around, LOL. A patroller brought a cooler to the scene. I heard that on the walkie talkie too. Maybe they filled the cooler with snow. I got off the lift before the saga ended.

post #42 of 54

My strangest and least favorite chair was with a lady at Vail that spent the whole ride up telling me how each article of clothing she had on, and how her skis and boots were the absolute best, and how much better they were than other articles that she had owned, and how I needed to pick up all of these items.  She had on an Arcteryx jacket and pants and such and it was legit, but along the lines of what my grandpa always said, "Any idiot can buy a decent bottle of wine for $100."  

post #43 of 54

According to Dave Letterman, this is what you don't want to hear on a chair lift:

 

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On A Ski Lift

10. "Wow, you don't get views like this in prison."

9. "You know, we'd both be warmer if you sat on my lap."

8. "If it doesn't snow again soon, I'm afraid they're gonna find the bodies."

7. "It's your lucky day -- you're riding with the king of the knock-knock jokes."

6. "Can you help me defrost my moustache?"

5. "Could you believe it? Some idiot just left these skis sitting right outside the lodge."

4. "While we've got a few minutes -- let me tell you about the Jehovah's Witnesses."

3. "Ow! I just got hit in the face by a goose!"

2. "I got a perfect way of testing if they have 10 inches of powder."

1. "All right boys, cut the cable!"

post #44 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtcyclist View Post

I had a middle age female private student a couple of years ago who told me about her non-existent sex life with her husband, who didn't ski.

Did you get her number?

post #45 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

Thirty years and nothing I'd call really strange comes to mind.  That probably means that there are hundreds of stories others have about ME!  If you don't know which person it is then that person is probably you right?

 

I second that.  I tend to forget others are on the charlift.  The last convo that comes to mind - I was talking with a friend about what stories should be shared with GFs and when.  I guess some pretty weird stories came up because the woman on the other end of the lift gave us the parting advice that we shouldn't share any of those stories. 

post #46 of 54

As I noted yesterday a lot of the younger skiers have earphones in and are adjusting their smartphones while on the lift. They seem pretty oblivious to everything around them.

post #47 of 54

A few years ago I was riding the lift with two middle aged women on a serendipitous powder day (it was not forecast) in early March at Stevens Pass.  I think I mentioned that it was amazing how few people there were on such a great day of skiing and one of the ladies said something along the lines of, "We shouldn't be here either.  We have a rule not to ski after February."  I asked about the rule which they both admitted to breaking that day, but were not sure why the were doing so.  They didn't seem to have any particular reason for the rule. It just was.

 

God bless them and all like them.

post #48 of 54

A few years ago, my son (then about 15) and I were skiing at Sugarloaf over Spring break.  We were in the lift line when a couple ski instructors came up with a bunch of under-six-year-old kids.  They asked if we could take one boy up between us.  When the chair came we hoisted him up by the arms.  He was a sweet kid, a little quite -- right out of central casting for a Disney movie.  About halfway up, the Snowfields trails came into view.  White Nitro was ice covered and glistening in the sun.  My son pointed at it and said "wow, White Nitro, that looks really tough".  Then the little kid blurts out: "White Nitro, I ski that backwards!"   It was all we could do not to laugh at him.  He paused a few seconds and then said:  "when we get to the top, can you guys grab my arms and help me off?"  

post #49 of 54

About an hour ago the lifted stopped and the rider in front of us said "that's my pack of condoms laying down there". He was probably just joking. Sure enough there was an accordian pack of Trojans. I said "really , what were you doing when you dropped them". My question is just how much additional protection do you need while riding a lift?   

post #50 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdog View Post

About an hour ago the lifted stopped and the rider in front of us said "that's my pack of condoms laying down there". He was probably just joking. Sure enough there was an accordian pack of Trojans. I said "really , what were you doing when you dropped them". My question is just how much additional protection do you need while riding a lift?   


Maybe he *ahem*, had one hand on the bar?

post #51 of 54

I was riding up with 2 beginners, early twenty-something ladies who seemed rather friendly.  I offered a bit of encouragement, after which the one remarked, "You sound like you know what you're doing!".  She then looked down at her skis (cheap Head rentals, with white topsheets), then looked at my skis (Head Icon TTs, black topsheets) and asked, "Cool!  Do they give you the black ones when you're a good skier?"

 

Trying not to laugh, I replied, "Yes, that's what they tell me".

 

 

I think she was the sweetest, most sincere gaper I ever met.

post #52 of 54

Just today at Copper I met a double leg amputee on a sit ski and he ended up riding the lift with me.  I was curious, not so much about his accident but about his skiing and whether or not he skied before his accident.  After telling me that he did in fact ski prior to his accident, I asked him if he thought that it hindered him learning to sit ski or helped him.  He replied that he thought it hindered him because his brain still wanted to use his legs.  Then he asked me, why I didn't ask him about his accident to which I replied that I felt that was too private.  He then offered that he was in a Helicopter accident caused by the pilot falling asleep at the controls.  I didn't know what to say other than that was aweful.  He then said, that he should have sued the pilot but it wouldn't have done any good as he was the pilot!  The accident was 30 years ago which means he was one of the pioneers of adaptive skiing.  Very cool guy and did not seem to be bitter at all about his circumstance. 

 

That was certainly one of the strangest chairlift conversations I have ever had.

 

Rick G

post #53 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunnerbob View Post

I was riding up with 2 beginners, early twenty-something ladies who seemed rather friendly.  I offered a bit of encouragement, after which the one remarked, "You sound like you know what you're doing!".  She then looked down at her skis (cheap Head rentals, with white topsheets), then looked at my skis (Head Icon TTs, black topsheets) and asked, "Cool!  Do they give you the black ones when you're a good skier?"

 

Trying not to laugh, I replied, "Yes, that's what they tell me".

 

 

I think she was the sweetest, most sincere gaper I ever met.

You missed the obvious response: 

 

"Once you go black you'll never go back"

post #54 of 54

A ride I took today was one of the strangest I've ever had. I ended up riding with 2 boarders, who appeared to be 12-13 years old, and a 25ish year old woman boarder. The kids were literally talking about smoking weed the entire ride and how they couldn't wait to "blaze it up on 4/20", while swearing and cursing the whole time. I just looked over at them and said "what, are you kids in middle school?" with a smirk of disbelief on my face and muttered "****ing kids these days" as I got off the chair. I'm in college, but I still couldn't freaking believe it. The lady couldn't either. 

I should have said that I was a cop, just to freak them out. 

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