or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm fine

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 

In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot attorney questioned him thus:

'Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?"

Olie responded: 'vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust
loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Olie said, 'vell, I'd yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas drivin' down da road.... '

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Olies answer and said to the attorney: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.

Olie said: 'Tank you' and proceeded. 'vell as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road vin dis huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side by golly. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder ditch.

By yimminy yahosaphat I vas hurt, purty durn bad, and didn't want to move. An even vurse dan dat,, I could hear old Bessie a moanin' and a groanin'. I knew she vas in terrible pain yust by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie a moanin' and a groanin' too, so he vent over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.

Den da policeman, he came right straight across de road, gun still in hand, and looked at me, and said, 'How are YOU feelin'?'

'Now vot da heck vud you say?'

post #2 of 2

The Journal of the Massachusetts Bar  recorded this exchange between an anonymous attorney and a pathologist in a recent murder trial:


"Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"


"Did you check for breathing?"


"So then, is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"


"How can you be so sure?"

"Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."


Even then, this would-be Perry Mason refused to throw in the towel:


"Is it possible the patient could have been alive nevertheless?"

"It is possible that he could have been alive," said the pathologist, "and practising the law somewhere."

                                                                                                          The Gaurdian



As it appeared in the Vancouver Sun, January 3, 1998

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff