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Ski Joke

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10

1 to screw the light bulb and

9 to comment on how good the turns were, DUDE! :)

post #2 of 10

Funny, now a variation....

 

How many extreme skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

Only one.  The others stand around watching and say, "I could have done that!

 

Rick G

post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 

HA!!

post #4 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdskis2 View Post

How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

None! Ski instructors screw in hot tubs!

post #5 of 10

What's the difference between God and a ski instructor?

 

God doesn't think he's a ski instructor.

post #6 of 10

What's the difference between a Ski Instructor and a large pizza?

 

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

post #7 of 10
Quote:

Q: What’s the difference between a government bond and a snowboard bum?
A: government bond will eventually mature and make money.

Q: How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: How many Extreme Skiers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty, one to make the actual turns, and then 19 to point up and say “I could have done that”.

Q: How many ski patrollers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, they simply hold it up and let the world revolve around them.

This guy walks into a bar at Mt. Baker and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder, the guy on your right is a snowboarder, same with the guy on your left, and the guy behind you is a snowboarder.” So he says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little more slowly then…”

Q: Why do lifties only get half a hour lunch break?
A: Because any longer and they need to be retrained!

Q: What do snowboarders use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How does a snowboarder introduce themselves?
A: Ohhh – sorry dude!

Q: How do you become a millionaire as a professional skier?
A: Start out a billionaire.

Q. What’s the difference between a snowboarder and a picnic table?
A. A picnic table can support a family.

Q. How can you tell who the ski instructor is in a room full of people?
A. You don’t have to, they will tell you.

Q. What is the difference between an onion and a snowboard?
A. You don’t cry when you cut a snowboard in half!

Q. What were the snowboarder’s last words?
A. DUDE, WATCH THIS!!!

Q. Where does a snowboarder hide his money from his roommates?
A. Under the soap dish.

Q. Why do snowboarders smell?
A. So blind people can hate them too.

Q. What did the snowboarder say when he stepped up to the microphone?
A. You want fries with that?

Q. Whats the difference between a snowboarder and a vacuum cleaner?
A. One is a noisy scumsucker with a bag of air on it. The other is for cleaning your floor.

Q. What’s the difference between a Hoover vacuum and a snowboarder?
A. You can take the dirtbag out of the hoover.

Q. What’s the difference between a ski instructor and God?
A. God doesn’t think he’s a ski instructor.

 

http://pisteplatoon.com/2011/02/16/jokes-i/

 

Four snowboarders in the car leaving the resort for the day... what do you call the driver?
 

Officer!

post #8 of 10

Q. What do you call a Snowboarder in a two piece suit?

A. The Defendant.

post #9 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by crgildart View Post

 

Four snowboarders in the car leaving the resort for the day... what do you call the driver?
 

Officer!

What do you call the driver of a car with x snowboarders in the back seat?

5 Snowboarders? Sheriff

6 Snowboarders? State Trooper

8 Snowboarders?  FBI agent

10 Snowboarders?....Desperate Ski School Director!

post #10 of 10

Hahaha... you guys made me lol :)

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