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post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Salami Icecreams (drearys)

I picked up a pair of these pups last year and I can honestly say they blow the doors off any other board made today. I've skied on the Anatomic Beta-max 9.747.69.Pi-R-squared's, the Dynamohum Auto Cross-dressers, the Rosieodonnel Roadrunner double-yuks, and the KY Immodest Hack Plows and without a doubt I can say that they aren't even comparable... So I won't bother.

All I can say is I feel sorry for those poor Herman Maier wannabees who got sucked in by the hype of the Master-Beta technology, hoping to become great skiers but only to realise that they still suck. The same goes for the saps that got sold by the huge Rosieodonnel marketing machine 'cause now they own a pair of skis that are junk -- That's Right-- JUNK! And why would any knitwit even bother buying from a copycat 'whimpski' manufacturer like KY?? I ask you, is there truly anything sadder than a gaper who buys into slick marketing campaigns!??

The Icecreams not only can carve blue ice like OJ Simpson can carve up wives, but they blow through crud like Godzilla goes through Tokyo. In fact, there is nothing that these 'bad Bettys' can't handle with pinache and style: from the crazy bumps of 'Upper Bite' at Blackcomb, to the north face of Diamond in Valdez, to the quarter pipe at Powder Ridge in New Haven, Ct. There just is NO better ski for any conditions and on a scale of 1-10, I give them an "Elsa Benitez". They are not only the dampest ski I've ever had the pleasure to ride during washboard conditions in a South American speed-skiing contest but, strangely enough, when you need to crank out short radius turns they are the liveliest stick on the market. They're stiff! ...but not too stiff. They have the perfect sidecut for any turn. Experts will need to get their fighter-jet license before clicking into these babys because they fly like F-14's on nitro -- but the unusual thing is, even beginners can handle them and I guarantee they'll be experts by the end of the first day - (just ask wacko).

Don't let the fact that I happen to represent 'Salami' affect your decision. It's just a coincidence that the company which gives me free gear and clothes also happens to make the best skis in the world.

And for the rest of you loosers who are not seriously considering the Icecreams, JUST STAY THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY!!!

....gee, I hope this was informative?
post #2 of 12
post #3 of 12
Yes, very informative as far as it goes, BUT . . . what I really want to know is if this ski possesses - as the long-since defunct Snow Country mag once opined (of a Lange race boot) - "more absolute power than Stalin." No ski gear review is complete with a completely gratuitous political history reference, so I'm afraid you'll have to keep trying.
post #4 of 12
Tough Crowd - but I admit, How can I trust anyone that writes a review without the mention of their favorite band . . .

We all must abide by the rules if this is going to work!!


Oh, man - and I just checked out who wrote the rules - Cheap Seats - you gotta start followin' your own directions . . .<FONT size="1">

[This message has been edited by Rexroad (edited August 28, 2001).]</FONT>
post #5 of 12
How do they compare to the KY Van Morrison Dominoes(198Kelvin)?--Jackie Wilson Said---
post #6 of 12
Wow, sounds like the banter of COOL NEW WORLD DISCIPLES.
post #7 of 12
I always thought the EVIL EMPIRE was the king of slick marketing deals and packages.
post #8 of 12
I have a pair of Salomon Icecreams and they blow the ... off ... my dog!
Out of the wrapper and off the demo van they were the best I have ever demoed. sp?
-best i have ever skiied!
Fast forward two years...(60-70 ski days)
they are a pile of junk sitting in my basement.
Skis are decambered, edges bent, bindings that never worked right, collecting dust.
I would burn them but I couldn't after spending all that money on them
Foam core skis...my first pair of foam cores..they are WEAK.
The bindings never held me in right no matter how I adjusted them-or my shop too.
Top of the line Salomon equipment, eh?
Hellova lot o' money to invest on rock skis.

Try a pair of Fischer SCENIO 3's
I know for a fact they are built tougher.
post #9 of 12
Cheap seats, gotta love it. No KY needed, smooth enough. Thanks.
post #10 of 12
He be manic......... yes, yes,...... he be manic!
post #11 of 12
Hey, yuki, some of my BEST FRIENDS are manic . . . but I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one. Whether he's manic or just giddy with Glenfiddich [or The Glenlivit, whatever], cheap seats has been not quite droll but VERY entertaining, and I appreciate that.
post #12 of 12
Oboe: ... Yup!
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