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Markers - what's the dilly-o? - Page 2

post #31 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by waynewong View Post
 

I'm an almost 60 yr. old super aggressive professional master double expert kansas city flatland skier who gets two days a year at Mt. Weston. I prefer tennis-ball size ice clods on top of a dirt and grass base littered with rocks and sticks. I like to set edges on lift tower bases, snow fences, snow making equipment, and trees. Just for shits-n-giggles, I'll ride the bull wheel around at the top of the lift so I can bail off the backside of the lift where the exposed boulders are. This allows me to practice the zen of base repair with my P-tex stick. I avoid all terrain parks and anything to do with snowboard jumps as anyone who sets foot on a snowboard is of devil spawn. I frequently ski up behind and overtake ski patrollers and set an edge on their tips sending them headlong into the scrub oak where they belong. If I'm bored, I may ride the chair up around the bull wheel and back down to the lift line screaming "single" on the hunt for loose women. I carry a bota bag full of Mogen David 20/20 and clack snow on anyone foolish enough to ski the lift line under the chairs. I like my turns the same way I like my women... round. I'm a total equipment snob, and proud of it. Currently, I ski a pair of Spademan Comps on top of a bowling ball and have never had a pre-release. My boots are Rosemounts with Jet-Stix, and the red stuff keeps my toes toasty. When I want to go fast I jump on my  Rossi cry baby bottoms and haul ass. I've never exploded a pair of skis without an M-80 involved. Rotamat schmotamat, all Markers pre-release. It's what they were designed to do. Ski on anything other than Markers and forget your pre-release worries. DIN settings are for weenies anyway. Replace all stock springs with race springs, crank 'em all the way down, then spot weld them in place. Wallah!... no more pre-release. Just make sure all your falls (if you are someone who falls) are forward falls and that you kick your tails up and over into a somersault... back on your skis again heading downhill. I've skied every pair of skis ever made, and invented half of the bindings on the market. I've whelped litters of English Setter pups in a pair of yellow Hansons. I ski in-bounds, out-of-bounds, pissed, and off-pissed. I run sweep on the patrollers who run sweep. If I don't like something, I set an edge on it. I call Wayne Wong Hank Kashiwa just to piss him off. I watched the entire era of ballet skiing come and go without ever participating in it's foolishness. I've done tip rolls, rip rolls, window turns, wong-bangers, mule kicks, daffy's, tip drops and spreads. In the spring I iron in Toko silver followed with WD-40 rubbed in by hand just to mess with the posers in their TNF Denali jackets. If anyone wants to know anything about skiing, just ask. If I don't know the answer I'll bullshit my way through it and have you looking for a pair of Kerma poles with a French rooster on them so you can be like me. Oh, almost forgot, I'm a tele-master too with a 6th degree black belt with red sash in crouch-skiing, knee-dragging rat bastardness. Out.

^^^ Most useless post of the year award ^^^

post #32 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by waynewong View Post

I'm an almost 60 yr. old super aggressive professional master double expert kansas city flatland skier who gets two days a year at Mt. Weston. I prefer tennis-ball size ice clods on top of a dirt and grass base littered with rocks and sticks. I like to set edges on lift tower bases, snow fences, snow making equipment, and trees. Just for shits-n-giggles, I'll ride the bull wheel around at the top of the lift so I can bail off the backside of the lift where the exposed boulders are. This allows me to practice the zen of base repair with my P-tex stick. I avoid all terrain parks and anything to do with snowboard jumps as anyone who sets foot on a snowboard is of devil spawn. I frequently ski up behind and overtake ski patrollers and set an edge on their tips sending them headlong into the scrub oak where they belong. If I'm bored, I may ride the chair up around the bull wheel and back down to the lift line screaming "single" on the hunt for loose women. I carry a bota bag full of Mogen David 20/20 and clack snow on anyone foolish enough to ski the lift line under the chairs. I like my turns the same way I like my women... round. I'm a total equipment snob, and proud of it. Currently, I ski a pair of Spademan Comps on top of a bowling ball and have never had a pre-release. My boots are Rosemounts with Jet-Stix, and the red stuff keeps my toes toasty. When I want to go fast I jump on my  Rossi cry baby bottoms and haul ass. I've never exploded a pair of skis without an M-80 involved. Rotamat schmotamat, all Markers pre-release. It's what they were designed to do. Ski on anything other than Markers and forget your pre-release worries. DIN settings are for weenies anyway. Replace all stock springs with race springs, crank 'em all the way down, then spot weld them in place. Wallah!... no more pre-release. Just make sure all your falls (if you are someone who falls) are forward falls and that you kick your tails up and over into a somersault... back on your skis again heading downhill. I've skied every pair of skis ever made, and invented half of the bindings on the market. I've whelped litters of English Setter pups in a pair of yellow Hansons. I ski in-bounds, out-of-bounds, pissed, and off-pissed. I run sweep on the patrollers who run sweep. If I don't like something, I set an edge on it. I call Wayne Wong Hank Kashiwa just to piss him off. I watched the entire era of ballet skiing come and go without ever participating in it's foolishness. I've done tip rolls, rip rolls, window turns, wong-bangers, mule kicks, daffy's, tip drops and spreads. In the spring I iron in Toko silver followed with WD-40 rubbed in by hand just to mess with the posers in their TNF Denali jackets. If anyone wants to know anything about skiing, just ask. If I don't know the answer I'll bullshit my way through it and have you looking for a pair of Kerma poles with a French rooster on them so you can be like me. Oh, almost forgot, I'm a tele-master too with a 6th degree black belt with red sash in crouch-skiing, knee-dragging rat bastardness. Out.

Chaos, is that you hiding in there?
post #33 of 49

Oooh... sorry jzamp, you must wear a Denali jacket I'm guessing. My bad.

post #34 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzamp View Post

^^^ Most useless post of the year award ^^^

Correction most amusing in so many ways
post #35 of 49
And all those words were to reopen a three year old thread. Seems a waste. He should have saved it on the PC for future use.
post #36 of 49

Glad you "got" it nyquist. So many take their skiing and their skiing accomplishments way too seriously. Cold snow down the back of your neck is a small price to pay for skiing the lift lines under the chairs. It's the price of admission to the best learning environment on the mountain. When you can tune out the cat-calling, snow-clacking audience above you, you've gained the clarity and focus needed to improve to the next level. Have a good one.

post #37 of 49

It wasn't a waste sibhusky, nyquist got it. Lighten up dude.

post #38 of 49

Dudette, if you please.

post #39 of 49
It wasn't subtle, so we all "got it". Just could have been better placed. Like putting a Viagra ad on Saturday morning kids TV or some other bizarre combo. This would make more sense in the instruction forum or a movement analysis. Burying it here, therefore, is a waste.

Get with the program, "dude".
post #40 of 49
So, you're saying there aren't viagra ads during the kids programming on Saturday morning? Maybe you had better get with the program husky. Sorry my comments were so haphazardly placed in the wrong catagory to suit your whims. I typically don't worry about the opinions of abstemmers. Don't make me send Dave Turnbull back up there to Whitefish to kick your ass.
post #41 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by sibhusky View Post

It wasn't subtle, so we all "got it". Just could have been better placed. Like putting a Viagra ad on Saturday morning kids TV or some other bizarre combo.

Awkwardness is explaining to my pre teen, avid-golfer son why golf tournaments on TV have so many ED ads. (or what an Oldsmobile is).

(When we replaced our inefficient toilets a few years back I tried to convince my wife to do the Cialis bathtub pic with me, using the old toilets. She busted up the old toilets instead.)

 

I agree with you about the "humor". 

post #42 of 49
Just seems to me if you're going to go to all that trouble to type that long a stand up comedy routine, that you'd want to do better product placement. It's an waste of time selling a roof to a zombie.

This guy's got a chip on his shoulder too. And expects me to have a clue who this Dave guy is, to boot.
post #43 of 49
Trolls come in various flavors. Common denominator is self-inflation over how much cleverer they are than rest of us. Don't feed, Sib.
post #44 of 49

Oh lighten up people, lol

post #45 of 49
O.K., First of all, I don't even know what a troll is. Second, of course I have a chip on my shoulder. The common denominator with all forums on the internet regardless of subject matter is the direct relationship between the number of posts someone has contributed and the level of importance they think their opinions hold. The more posts someone has made, the more important they think their opinions are. Period. And typically, those who have posted hundreds or thousands of times are the most vulnerable and insecure in their knowledge (which is why they post so often in the first place). It is also the reason they are the most easily offended when a newcomer like me pokes harmless fun at their attempts to establish their superiority with every post. It matters not what level skier you are, what you ski on, your home mountain, how many days a year you ski, how many pairs of skis you own, what your occupation is, your favorite terrain, or which hand you wipe your ass with. If you spend more time on the computer attempting to establish your authority as the god of all ski knowledge than you do skiing, you're a poser. Those of you in that category not only know who you are, but the truth of what I just said. Lest I fall into the same category I'm critical of, I will end this topic. Sorry to have rocked the boat in your little hierarchy of internet ski god competition. Hope you get it all sorted out one day and someone is crowned "Lord of all internet ski knowledge". Wish I could sit and bullshit with you, but I have a lift line to install on the north face of the Eiger. Brian Williams is up there pouring the footings for the towers right now, as he has a few vacation days to use up. When we get the cable on, I'll hand tune the pulleys by moonlight before we do a brake test. Adios.
post #46 of 49
Touchy.

Apparently it's okay for him to make fun of Epic posters, but not okay for me to criticize his comedic timing.
post #47 of 49
Well that escalated quickly...
Good bye and safe travels on the interwebs lol
post #48 of 49

In the spring, do you also make meat helmets in between luge lessons? Do you summer in Rangoon? Do you prefer sharks with frickin lasers on the foreheads?

Quote:
Originally Posted by waynewong View Post
 

I'm an almost 60 yr. old super aggressive professional master double expert kansas city flatland skier who gets two days a year at Mt. Weston. I prefer tennis-ball size ice clods on top of a dirt and grass base littered with rocks and sticks. I like to set edges on lift tower bases, snow fences, snow making equipment, and trees. Just for shits-n-giggles, I'll ride the bull wheel around at the top of the lift so I can bail off the backside of the lift where the exposed boulders are. This allows me to practice the zen of base repair with my P-tex stick. I avoid all terrain parks and anything to do with snowboard jumps as anyone who sets foot on a snowboard is of devil spawn. I frequently ski up behind and overtake ski patrollers and set an edge on their tips sending them headlong into the scrub oak where they belong. If I'm bored, I may ride the chair up around the bull wheel and back down to the lift line screaming "single" on the hunt for loose women. I carry a bota bag full of Mogen David 20/20 and clack snow on anyone foolish enough to ski the lift line under the chairs. I like my turns the same way I like my women... round. I'm a total equipment snob, and proud of it. Currently, I ski a pair of Spademan Comps on top of a bowling ball and have never had a pre-release. My boots are Rosemounts with Jet-Stix, and the red stuff keeps my toes toasty. When I want to go fast I jump on my  Rossi cry baby bottoms and haul ass. I've never exploded a pair of skis without an M-80 involved. Rotamat schmotamat, all Markers pre-release. It's what they were designed to do. Ski on anything other than Markers and forget your pre-release worries. DIN settings are for weenies anyway. Replace all stock springs with race springs, crank 'em all the way down, then spot weld them in place. Wallah!... no more pre-release. Just make sure all your falls (if you are someone who falls) are forward falls and that you kick your tails up and over into a somersault... back on your skis again heading downhill. I've skied every pair of skis ever made, and invented half of the bindings on the market. I've whelped litters of English Setter pups in a pair of yellow Hansons. I ski in-bounds, out-of-bounds, pissed, and off-pissed. I run sweep on the patrollers who run sweep. If I don't like something, I set an edge on it. I call Wayne Wong Hank Kashiwa just to piss him off. I watched the entire era of ballet skiing come and go without ever participating in it's foolishness. I've done tip rolls, rip rolls, window turns, wong-bangers, mule kicks, daffy's, tip drops and spreads. In the spring I iron in Toko silver followed with WD-40 rubbed in by hand just to mess with the posers in their TNF Denali jackets. If anyone wants to know anything about skiing, just ask. If I don't know the answer I'll bullshit my way through it and have you looking for a pair of Kerma poles with a French rooster on them so you can be like me. Oh, almost forgot, I'm a tele-master too with a 6th degree black belt with red sash in crouch-skiing, knee-dragging rat bastardness. Out.

post #49 of 49

IT"S ALIVE!!!!!!

Time to get out the torches and pitchforks. Or drive a stake through this thread's heart, or shoot it with a silver bullet.

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