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The Afternoon of the Iguanas

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Posting live from ...Aruba~~~~~~~
Every year, the gym I work for takes some of the staff to Aruba. Now some of you know that I am a major animal lover. Except...


And Aruba is filled with these scary looking Iguanas. I'm telling you, ya' never know when one of those creepy critters is going to jump out from nowhere and step in your path.

You know how cats seem to know if someone hates them. That will be the person whose lap they jump on to.
Well Iguanas are the same way.

So I'm sitting down waiting to be served my my lunch, minding my own business, not bothering anyone, and along crawls SLIMY. Now mind you, other people already have their food. He could have played the "PLEASE HELP MY I'N A STARVING IGUANA" number with them.
But no..
He stares up at me with those creepy eyes. Possesing a woddle that would make Janet Reno proud, he begins to nod his head up and down. To make matters worse, he is then joined by his friend IGGY in the process. Then the blue lizardy type monster, who I'll call FRED comes in to join the fun.

So here I am, on a company paid vacation, supposing to unwind, and I'm surrounded by slimy monster creatures. Gee, the terrorists didn't get me on the airplane, so I'm about to become the feast of the reptiles!

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

So finally, the waitress comes with my food. She stamps her foot and says BOO!
They scamper away.

Two years ago, Aruba had a gazillion stray cats. I used to eat my breakfast outdoors, and feed them. When I asked where they were, the hotel staff said they were "put to sleep".

Maybe the Iguanas remembered me, and thought I was some sort of pushover.

But what part of "You are not cute" didn't they understand??
post #2 of 15

You lost me after you wrote Posting live from ... Aruba. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Aruba sounds sooooo nice, even surrounded by those lovely creatures. Here in Toronto it has been raining and we long for snow.

Next time you see the "monsters", just say "nice kitty". OK, that would insult a cat, but maybe they will go away.
post #3 of 15

I have an iguana. his name is Jake, and he is NOT slimy. in fact, he is rather warm and dry. He likes to sit on my head while I do housework. He gets along well with my cat

Ill post a picture of him as soon as I set up my web site...

post #4 of 15
by the way, the head bobbing thing, its a mating ritual.

I think he was asking you if he could buy you a drink......
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
Ye gods!! In just 3 days I've gotten come ons from creepy guys, gay women and now, A FREAKIN IGUANA!!

And the moral of the story is: Fear leads to prejudice!
post #6 of 15
Are you sure it wasn't Louie the Budweiser lizard?
post #7 of 15
hehehe, of those three Id go with the iguana!!!

Seriously, they are really cool lizards. I wouldnt dream of touching one until a friend got one, and I just fell in love with it...

They have so much personality, its funny. they show fear and anger and attraction (as you found out) and even affection in rare cases. They can be nasty, though, they bite (hard) scratch with long claws, and whip their tails (I heard a story of an iguana breaking a house cats leg with its tail) and with the row of spikes, you just dont want to be at the wrong end of that tail...

so approach with caution if you decide you need to pat one on his scaly green head.

Mine likes to be sung to, and will snuggle his face up to yours and go to sleep if he likes the song. so they can be snuggly.

the "Janet Reno wobble" is called a "dewlap" and they extend it when they are upset or excited (as in the case of your armourous ig)
It can mean "I am Alpha-lizard, see my dewlap and fear me!" or it could mean "hey baby, whats your sign?"

ooops sorry, dint'mean to go on and on...just trying to sway your prejudice! He was probably far better looking than any of those creepy guys OR gay women!
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Actually, Linda, this is quite interesting. I think its the way they resemble snakes that kind of gets to me. But as many have pointed out, I'm probably in more danger petting the stray dogs.

Anyway, my co-workers said that I need to give up my title of St. Francesca of Aruba, since I have a prejudice against certain animals.
post #9 of 15
Hey LM, How're the tradewinds? Got in any broad reaches? carve any jibes? Don't tell me you go to Aruba and don't windsurf. That's like going to Whistler and not skiing! :
post #10 of 15
LM, did any of the iggys have gold chains?
post #11 of 15
Thread Starter 
Lucky, no gold chains on the Iguanas, but lots of guys in gold chains. YUCK!! Probably the reason I prefer mountain boys to beach boys.

Roto, the winds are always so intense in Aruba, that if you've never windsurfed,its not a great place to learn. A few of the girls who are younger and far more athletic than I am have tried, and pretty much end up falling. Its also ridiculously expensive, and since the trip happens so close to ski season, I need to prioritize my finances. Not to mention the sports fitness conference I'll be leaving for in Miami... tomorrow.

Its funny, in the 3 years, I've gone on this trip with our gym, we always plan to try different sports. But most of us are so stressed out and scheduled out, that we end up just veging out! I tell Mark that the only thing I'm faithful to out there is our marriage!

I did get to thinking about something after I read your question. Many, but not all, of the people I work with at various gyms, are extremely fit, but not very athletic. I've been working on this article style post for this forum. I think my theme will be how functional sports conditioning bridges the gap between fitness and athleticism. That way, I can compile some of the fitness stuff I've written about in various posts, but at the same time, explore a theme that has not really been touched on.

post #12 of 15


P.S. I finally got the pics back from your trip to SF. Can I post them??

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ November 06, 2001 03:15 PM: Message edited 1 time, by SkiMinker ]</font>
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Oh I am the original WUSS, they created the word for me personally!

E-mail them to me first, so I can see how disasterous they are!
post #14 of 15
They are actually really cute..except you flipped your hair in EVERY picture so we can't see your face! I knew it!!

I will try to remember to bring them in and upload them tomorrow.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
As long as it does not show my un photogenic face, go ahead and post it.
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