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If your skis could talk what would they say?

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 

Left Ski - "I'm guessing you have never heard of something called wax, right?   Not to mention, you have pulled my retarded half brother out of retirement (Armada) because he has somewhat better edges. Where's the love man?"



Right Ski - "Holy Sh*t! A talking ski! Oh, by the way, We are both getting a little tired of your girly cowardly screaming everytime you flail helplessly through the air."

post #2 of 48

"Enough with the blues. Take another lesson, would ya?"


"The skier sucks from the head down."

post #3 of 48

If my skis could talk they would say (by model):


Blizzard SLR Race Mag IQ 160cm  "I will do anything you want as long as lots of turns are involved."

Volkl Racetiger Speedwall GS 175cm  "Hey lets go dance down the fall line!'

Volkl AC 30 w/wideride bindig 170cm  "Lets go, I am ready for anything!"

Rossi Experience 98 180cm "Is that all you got?"


Rick G

post #4 of 48

"OW, that really hurt".  After the other stone grind on the edges.

post #5 of 48

Pick me!  Pick me!

post #6 of 48


post #7 of 48
Originally Posted by Ghost View Post

Pick me!  Pick me!

That is what mine are saying. So much for having a quiver in a low snow yearrolleyes.gif


post #8 of 48
"C'mon meat stick, we should be going faster by now..."
post #9 of 48

whoa whoa whoa, slow down, that's a pair of Black Pearls in front of us.

post #10 of 48

Coreupt Candide Pow's "C'mon man, just throw the three already, ive been waiting for it all year... you keep winding up like your gonna do it then you wimp out!"


Rossignol Bandit XXX"S "Fix this damn binding! I wanna shred!"


Fischer carvers "Dude... youve gotta get me out of the back of the truck, I know the snows soft now but I like to play too..."


post #11 of 48

Volkl Mantra 184s: "SCHNELL"

post #12 of 48

On your shoulder again!  heck yeah! Palisades or Main Line Pocket?


these are really good jokes, bring it.

post #13 of 48

Lose some weight fat ass, and while you're at it, why don't you learn how not be such a beater. lol.


post #14 of 48

This isn't a theoretical question...some people apparently have talking skis


Have you been criticized by the graphics on your skis?

post #15 of 48

What will my new LP90 skis say to me this season.


"Are you sure you can ski old man"

post #16 of 48

"What's a gaper?"

post #17 of 48

mine wrote a letter....


Dear Finndog, your injury was of no fault of ours (at least the other pairs not being used that day) and we subsequently have not contributed to your lack of ability to ski. As such, we are requesting to be immediately traded bartered or sold to someone who can use us intended.  We just ask that you not send us to the Tahoe region......biggrin.gif




post #18 of 48

yellow! yellow?? seriously?? feakin' yellow?! It's 16 degrees out moron.  I'm icing up...in a couple minutes there will be more snow on my bases than on the freakin'  mountain...yellow?

post #19 of 48
Originally Posted by davluri View Post

RED! RED?? seriously?? feakin' RED?! It's 16 degrees out moron.  I'm icing up...in a couple minutes there will be more snow on my bases than on the freakin'  mountain...RED?

This is EXACTLY what my kid's skis were saying in WV a couple weeks ago.  They still had a little sheen on them from last March.  I really didn't think it was going to be THAT cold, and didn't think "good wax" on a noob's skis was appropriate. Still, I didn't expect there to still be enough there to do that.  The sticky situation resolved itself after the first run.. But, we waxed them together that evening and man was he freaked out at how fast they were the next morning, even colder.

post #20 of 48


last Sunday: Thanks Dave so so much painting over my topsheets with those juvenile graphics, a snow white.

( Rustomleum spray white primer )


last Monday: WOW Dave, luv the cloudy blue paint dusting on the white snow!


( Rustomleum spray fluorescent blue )


what my new bump skis used to look like:




Today applied Rustoleum Clear Enamel sealer so them  skis will be ready Saturday for the fresh cold snow forecast for tonight. 

post #21 of 48

I sure am a fatty!

post #22 of 48

005 [1024x768].JPGQuality is quality, man, know what I'm sayin'; it's part of taste and style, ya' see...that's just how I roll.

post #23 of 48

The common call of the Southeastern skier's ski as they try to dodge the rocks, thin cover, roots, stumps, etc., etc. this winter:


"Oh no ... OUCH ... not again ... OOMPH ... yikes ... OWWW!   Enough already ... can we PLEEAASSE go where they actually have some snow????"

post #24 of 48

shreddin butter

post #25 of 48


post #26 of 48

Have you been skiing someone else???

post #27 of 48

"Get in the backseat again and I'll run on you..."


"Another frozen granular day?  My edges hurt..."



post #28 of 48


"What the hell are we doing in the middle of North Carolina????"


post #29 of 48
Was it really necessary to spray those kids?
post #30 of 48

AC50s: "Jawohl, mein Herr!"

G3 Infidels: "Dude, a chairlift?  Again?  You didn't buy me to ski at the resort!  Lose the skirt, pull out the skins, and let's do some real skiing...."

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