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Is it ok to break up with someone because they don't ski or snowboard?

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 

I say yes. If I spend my whole winter on the mountain, to me it's the equivalent of a long-distance relationship for a whole season.

post #2 of 42

i suppose its ok, but here's my recommendation based on experience:  play that string out til it blows up in your face or you find a replacement, whichever comes first.  It gets cold and lonely in the winter sleeping all by one's lonesome and its alot easier to find a replacement come spring time.

 

dave

post #3 of 42

When i was dating around I had a requirement that if I was going to enter in to a long term relationship with anyone. Participation in snow sports was required. I have been with my GF for 3 years now.

 

She met me up at the mountain, and took a snowboarding lesson. We had lunch, and she was hooked on me, and the sport. I keep her outfitted with sweet gear, and a pass. It's a small price to pay.

post #4 of 42
Thread Starter 

McDave, You're so wise.

post #5 of 42

I would find it extremely difficult to be with someone who didn't ski or board. Is it OK to break up? I don't know; I probably wouldn't be with them in the first place. My fiancee is my main ski buddy, and I can't imagine not sharing this sport with someone so important!

post #6 of 42
Question is, why would you be with someone that doesn't ski or snowboard.

My answer is yes.
post #7 of 42

Yeah. It MIGHT seem acceptable to stay with someone who doesn't ski/board at first, but it would get old quick. On the other hand, some women are actually good about letting their men play on the weekends, even if they don't join. Even then, it would be a maybe. What's really awesome is if you can find a women you share this with. It's so great having a solid ski buddy (my fiance) who is actually the one pushing ME along in the morning on a pow day.

 

That's a tough question. As stated above, maybe wait 'til springtime as nesting season is officially over and most girls have found a mate for the winter, but then again, you might be missing out on a good opportunity out there if you're tied down to a non-skiing woman.

 

So, so tough. I feel your pain, as I've been there before. One of my ex-gf's didn't ski, and never went on a trip with me, but she was awesome off the slopes and the rest of the year. My current gf/fiance LOVES to ski, but doesn't have as much in common off the slopes when it comes to interests like music, movies, games, etc. That's ok. Her true love of skiing trumps all of that, and has made me love her so much more! You have to list your priorities from top to bottom. If skiing is really really important to you, then it's worth breaking it off. If it's lower on your list of priorities, I guess hang on to her.


Edited by AustinFromSA - 12/29/11 at 10:15am
post #8 of 42

I feel sorry for people whose S.O.s don't ski or snowboard.  

post #9 of 42

It's not just OK, it's required. A little known codicil of the General Laws of the Commonwealth state: "II B 3.786.1.2: No skier or boarder shall carry out a relationship with a non-skier or boarder. Exceptions under the judgement of the court are limited to loss of limbs or head after said relationship is consummated. Violation of this prohibition carries a punishment of not less than 7 years, or more than 15, with no possibility of parole" An earlier bay colony version (1637) required burning at the stake to expunge snow demons, but the rising cost of wood, and EPA pollution standards, necessitated modification to the present form in 2003. 

 

May god hath mercy on thee bindings...

 

 

post #10 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by beyond View Post

It's not just OK, it's required. A little known codicil of the General Laws of the Commonwealth state: "II B 3.786.1.2: No skier or boarder shall carry out a relationship with a non-skier or boarder. Exceptions under the judgement of the court are limited to loss of limbs or head after said relationship is consummated. Violation of this prohibition carries a punishment of not less than 7 years, or more than 15, with no possibility of parole" An earlier bay colony version (1637) required burning at the stake to expunge snow demons, but the rising cost of wood, and EPA pollution standards, necessitated modification to the present form in 2003. 

 

May god hath mercy on thee bindings...

 

 


Post of the year! roflmao.gif

 

post #11 of 42

My wife doesn't ski, and that is generally inconvenient (and also exposes deficiencies in my vetting process).

However, that does express itself positively in two ways; one, a guy weekend can truly be a guys' weekend, and two, on the occasions when the wives do come up, they can hangout with each other while the guys escape to pursue the actual reason we went in the first place.

 

Breaking up with a girl for that reason alone is probably shallow. Choosing wisely from the outset is the wisest approach. We can start a site for matching snow-centric singles -- skimingle.com.

post #12 of 42

When looking for a partner, it is best to choose wise in the first place.  It's nice to take the girlfriend skiing and do something together.  But, if you ski more than your average person and she's not into it, in the long term, it may not work out.  However, if she is of the rare breed and is fine with you skiing all the time, as long as you have other things in common, HOLD ON TO HER!  And if you like her for other reasons besides skiing, why break-up!  Enjoy what you have with her and ski the pow, too. 

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post #13 of 42

as you can read from the replies, there is no right answer....it depends on your own values and perceptions... and that big one, often a killer and really one's ego speaking--expectations.

 

i know of one couple (and have heard of others) who were deeply in love for 13 yrs (before he tragically succumbed to cancer) and they had almost next to nothing in common as per shared hobbies go (aside from wanting to motorbike together in travels)

..but they were nonetheless devoted to one another 150% and in her opinion really 'made for' one another i.e., neither found fault with the other at all and instead adored the other (pretty cool).

 

...on the other hand, there are other couples i've heard of feel that having shared hobbies (etc) is part of their 'values' glue that binds them.

 

so in short: you have to figure that one out on your own.... my suggestion is to look at the big picture of their +/- in terms of what they bring to your life (and what you bring to theirs)...does a woman who can't ski with you, for example, really matter that much (but you can get this need fulfilled solo or from your buddies) yet nonetheless brings other great things to your life instead (if she does)?... step back and think about that before tossing it all aside...you might regret it later.


Edited by canali - 12/29/11 at 2:03pm
post #14 of 42

That is my definition of a "mixed" marriage.

 

Make sure you do your due diligence up front.

post #15 of 42

Just because I slept with you last night doesn't mean I have to ski with you tomorrow...

 

Seriously though, I don't think I could be with someone who didn't ski.

 

My wife has been my consistent ski buddy now for over 30 yrs. It's something special to be

ripping down in the trees and look over and see your SO pacing right with you.

post #16 of 42

if they bought ya really nice ski related equipt for Christmas and you have a near coming birthday (or Valentines day), you may wish to reconsider  wink.gif   course, it really depends on their (and your) feeling about the time spent apart while the other pursues activities.   I have friends whose spouses travel with em (ski, fish, dive, etc), hang for their own personal free time to read, snowshoe, shop, explore, etc and save time together for the evening for get togethers, evenings out, etc

post #17 of 42

My wife doesnt ski nor does my wifes best friend,  but her husband does. 

 

It seems  all we have to say is that he just brought new skis and this becomes approval for me to do the same,   He is going to Japan can I go too,  lets go to Utah.

 

Seems to work!  We pack them off to a holiday at a beach somewhere without the kids for a week  and they are perfectly happy.

also we take the kids skiing for a week in Aust,  so mum gets another week to herself and I get some excellent time with my girls.

 

Only problem is they might want to come to Canada if we go,  so we might have to stick to Utah and Japan and miss out on Canada!

 

Richo

post #18 of 42

My answer to the OP's question is NO, that is not sufficient reason. Is it okay for her to break up with you because you don't play tennis or like ballet or have a black-belt in aikido like her? No. What if she does ski, but after 10 years of marriage suffers an injury that prevents her from skiing ever again -- will you dump her then?

 

However, it could be okay to break up if her dislike of skiing was such that she actively prevented you from skiing, or if the skiing difference were merely one among dozens of indicators that you are not suited for each other. That suggests more deep-seated incompatibility and unwillingness to allow each other an appropriate amount of freedom in the relationship. We all have favorite activities, music, food, places to live, etc. You should assess whether the one most critical to you are in harmony before picking a mate. My wife skis and is also a fan of the Grateful Dead, so we ski together and play in the same band, but she likes church and I don't so I generously permit her to worship without me.

 

It is okay to break up with her if the truth is that you simply don't really like her. If so, break up as kindly as possible and don't blame it on skiing.

 

P.S. It's probably okay for her to break up with you if she discovers this thread that you started.

post #19 of 42

That's a tough one.  I've been with somone that didn't do any winter sports and that sucked.  But then again, if you love the sport and that person enough...keep both and do them separately!  ;)

post #20 of 42

Her not skiing is definitely not a very good reason for you to break-up. She'll think you are childish and silly, her and all of her friends will look down on you. A better course of action is to break-up with her... but blame the break-up on her "holiday weight gain", oddly this will have the opposite effect.

 

post #21 of 42
Who says you have to marry her. Keep her till you're done with her, or she complains about you not spending time with her because you're always skiing. Then like whiteroom said "you're fat, and I don't like you anymore"
post #22 of 42

The title of this thread indicates you are not really in love with her.  That should tell you all you really need to know.

post #23 of 42

my wife doesn't ski and we're married 23 years So what do you value?  Obviously, this isn't a serious post but if your GF won't let you ski then she really doesn't love you, if you put skiing before her, you don't really love her.  Get it? 

post #24 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by handhdad View Post

That is my definition of a "mixed" marriage.

 

Make sure you do your due diligence up front.



No, a mixed marriage is one with a skier and a (gasp) snowboarder.

post #25 of 42

That initial vetting is frought with problems too. Just saying they are into or go skiing doesn't mean they are actually any good or can handle alpine weather variability etc etc.

I can't think of anything worse than having to baby sit a GF that said she 'likes skiing' but her perception isn't even close to your own when you finally get there. Works the same for MTBing as well unfortunately.

post #26 of 42

this is a good point!  What's worse a spouse that doesn't ski or a spouse that doesn't ski well and can't keep up with you; but wants to ski with you all the time?   So again would you prefer a spouse who skis but can only handle blues and gets cold easily and complains?  imagine, this:  its a blower AM, 18" of fresh and trees are calling' but you can't go because your spouse doesn't ski trees and is cold....  so you are searching for fresh along the sides of her favorite blue runs.......that may be the definition of hell  biggrin.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by snala View Post

That initial vetting is frought with problems too. Just saying they are into or go skiing doesn't mean they are actually any good or can handle alpine weather variability etc etc.

I can't think of anything worse than having to baby sit a GF that said she 'likes skiing' but her perception isn't even close to your own when you finally get there. Works the same for MTBing as well unfortunately.



 

post #27 of 42
I have one word..jealousy
BEFORE...I learned to ski, my bf would go skiing every weekend. I was mad when he would leave me...I was mad when he would ask me to go with him, but wouldn't spend time with me.
Needless to say it didn't last.
When I met my hubby..I forced myself to learn. Now we have a great time together...even if we don't ski together...we are still out on the mountain.
So no...I do not think that a skier and non skier can work IF the skier of the relationship goes more than two days a year
post #28 of 42

Quote:

 

Originally Posted by Finndog View Post

this is a good point!  What's worse a spouse that doesn't ski or a spouse that doesn't ski well and can't keep up with you; but wants to ski with you all the time?   So again would you prefer a spouse who skis but can only handle blues and gets cold easily and complains?  imagine, this:  its a blower AM, 18" of fresh and trees are calling' but you can't go because your spouse doesn't ski trees and is cold....  so you are searching for fresh along the sides of her favorite blue runs.......that may be the definition of hell  biggrin.gif
 


Wrong,  that is the definition of hell.  My wife is not a very good skier, she used to be better but has become quite timid about it while I have gone the other way.  She also doesn't ski often, but when she does she is content if I make 1-2 runs with her and then go off and ski where I want.  We meet up for lunch and then I head back out.  

 

post #29 of 42

I am so lucky to have this guy...

 

 LL

post #30 of 42

icon14.gif  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mtcyclist View Post


Wrong,  that is the definition of hell.  My wife is not a very good skier, she used to be better but has become quite timid about it while I have gone the other way.  She also doesn't ski often, but when she does she is content if I make 1-2 runs with her and then go off and ski where I want.  We meet up for lunch and then I head back out.  

 



 

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