Spouses/Significant Others - Page 2

Quote:

Originally Posted by crgildart 

My wife can't and won't ski.  She has genuine medical issues that are valid excuses not to try, but I doubt she would enjoy it as much as I do even if she could.  This works out on family trips though because the kids can't hang for more than a couple hours so it is best to have a "lodge mom". to take over supervision duties so I can get some serious laps in later in the day.  It's also nice because when I choose to go solo she acts relieved instead of jealous.  She'd rather stay home with the kis than ride along and sit in the lodge all day.  But if we're going for a weekend or longer then she can find other stuff to do.  Last time we actually took two cars.  Next year we may venture to a place like 7 Springs with lots of other activity options.

My wife used to ski, back before we married. We had a lot of fun trips together. Now her health prevents her from skiing, but she supports me in my skiing, especially if I take one of our grown kids along. Sometimes she tags along and reads a book in the lodge. Without the health issues, she'd be up there with me.

Life is a moving target. I'm from the South and never skied until I was in my 30's. My wife is from the North and skied since childhood. When she moved south she brought her skis with her expecting to use them but did not ski again until she met me several years later. At that time she was younger, skied better, skied faster and was more willing and able to try new stuff than I was. Over time she's become less adventuresome and less interested in taking lessons or participating in the camps I enjoy. She loves tennis lessons but does not have the same interest in improving her skiing skills. She also likes to sleep late. This is now a frequent issue since I always wake up at daybreak regardless of time or location so I'm ready to go at 9:00 am. I come back by the condo and get her around 10:30 but that's a pain for me to stop and aggravating for her trying to meet me. We bought a ski condo several years ago with plans to spend winters and summers in the mountains when I semi-retire. Now I've got more time to spend in the mountains but she's more interested in tennis than skiing so our plans from just a few years back are now in flux. She plans to spend about half the winter at home working on her tennis game and preparing for USTA league tennis this spring. I'm not concerned about time alone or skiing alone but I doubt if I will have as many opportunities to make new friends in ski country as an old single as I would if she were there. We'll see how it works out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I wont date anyone wont try to date anyone who doesnt ski. Ideally she skis better than me.

 

I have met exactly one person who fits this profile. I guess my standards are too high. 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah buddy.  On the other hand, les sports de glisse are so you, it'd be a deal killer if she didn't share it.  Maybe you could adjust down from "skis better than" to "skis almost as well as," since that would be pretty good, and she'd admire you and strive to catch up.  I mean, that's a nice arrangement.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by lakespapa 

Yeah buddy.  On the other hand, les sports de glisse are so you, it'd be a deal killer if she didn't share it.  Maybe you could adjust down from "skis better than" to "skis almost as well as," since that would be pretty good, and she'd admire you and strive to catch up.  I mean, that's a nice arrangement.  

 

I said Ideally. the deal breaker is skiing, and smoking....not the green stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rossi Smash 

Because you like it everyone should?

 

Nothing worse than a partner "going along" even if it doesn't interest them in the least. It'll just make both unhappy.....

 

It's the "won't even try" part. Not saying everyone should automatically like it. I wouldn't personally would never have been exposed to snow sports if someone hadn't asked me to give it a try. I'm willing to give anything a try once if it will satisfy my siginificant other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I wont date anyone wont try to date anyone who doesnt ski. Ideally she skis better than me.

 

I have met exactly one person who fits this profile. I guess my standards are too high. 

 

 

 

 

 

My girlfriend snowboards because of me. It was part of the deal. I told her if she wanted to see me on the weekends that she would have to meet me on the mountain.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecimmortal 

It's the "won't even try" part. Not saying everyone should automatically like it. I wouldn't personally would never have been exposed to snow sports if someone hadn't asked me to give it a try. I'm willing to give anything a try once if it will satisfy my siginificant other.

 

If it doesn't interest you, why try?

I don't understand all the coercion to get others to do something just because they like it themselves. You don't have to do everything together, in fact better if you don't.

My wife doesn't ski either. I tell people one of two things:

My wife doesn't ski so I go skiing and get out of her hair and we'tr both happy.

My wife doesn't ski, but she's a black diamond shopper.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liv2 ski 

Wow Rick, that is my story pretty much to a T.  Most of my skiing is done with a ski club that has lots of women in it. Some that ski way better than me, so I ski with them mostly.

 

Right now about 90% of my skiing and racing is also with the ski club I belong to here in Cleveland.  Ski clubs are a great way for a single married adult to ski with other folks. We also have some hot chicks that can rip.  Some of them are also married or single and I have become friends with them.  They know I am unavailable, we are just skiers skiing together and having fun.  My wife trusts me on those trips and I would never betray that trust.

Rick G

Quote:

Originally Posted by sibhusky 

Aside from TrekChick, this has all been "my wife", so I had to post that I have a non-skiing husband.  On the other hand, he has a non-cooking wife.  So...it evens out.  He doesn't make a lot of noise about my skiing and I don't care if he makes daily messes in the kitchen.  

my wife loves to ski but I still can't make a mess in the kitchen, maybe I should stop skiing so i can mess the kitchen up!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I said Ideally. the deal breaker is skiing, and smoking....not the green stuff.

IE not smoking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

IE not smoking.

No ashtray mouth.  Herbal is possible.

My wife doesn't ski.  She tried it several times back in the day but has legitimate knee issues that make her way too hesitant on the slopes, so I get it.  She nearly injured said knee at Squaw about 10 years ago (before she was my wife) and hasn't tried since.  I'm fine with that.  What works really well, however, is that one of my best friends is in the same situation, so we'll do outings where my friend and I go skiing while our wives can do their thing (go to the spa, get started on a good bottle of wine before us, etc.).  Easier said than done, but it's pretty ideal.

My wife loves to ski as much as I do. Skiing together is great.

But what I think really matters is having a partner who shares the same lifestyle and priorities. Skiers need to be up in the mountains and if your partner loves the mountains and playing outside that is what is really key. Being a skier as well is just a bonus. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan1088 

There have been some interesting point of views expressed so far. After the second season we were together, I all but threw the towel in on getting her to go. She rode along one year to Breck but just got mad because there were no non-skiers on the trip. 

 

Im honestly ok with her not going, I was just curious how many of you shared a similar situation. I think she realizes that she would cause me to do a lot of uns I would never go on normally and doesn't want to ruin my fun.

 

I think that those who had kids that let the kids do the dirty work, it'll probably happen in 4 or 5 years. Our son just turned 1 last month. 

 

Her whole family thinks I'm an idiot because I enjoy going somewhere cold and enjoy it since their idea of a good time is laying around on a beach bored out of their mind! 

 

From mid-Missouri you can do some great, cheap road trips to CO for long weekends, esp if you carpool with some other guys.  Another strategy I used was keeping my unaccompanied-by-wife ski trips to a really low budget so there was less friction over the high cost of "my hobby" vs. family needs.  Then later go ahead and take that beach vacation with wife/family (and use it as a chance to work on physical fitness for ski season).  

Hang in there.  If/when you get your son skiing competently, he could become your golden ticket to a lot of wife-approved father and son awesome ski getaways.  I know that one first hand.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alveolus 

Couple of thoughts

 

1. Do you have kids?  Would NOT recommend having them just to lure your wife into skiing, but if you have them and get them interested it may get mom more interested.  It was how it worked out for me.  After moving to the pnw 4 years ago, I decided to get back into skiing after a loooong layoff.  my daughter was 3 that first winter and we geared up and headed up.  Asked the wife if she wanted to come along, response was "Naah, not really interested."  By mid-winter and hearing daughter come home bubbling over with stories and a rosy glow (along with multiple pictures), she wanted to give it a try.  She went a few times with us at the local hill, took a couple of group lessons and found it moderately enjoyable, but was not really "hooked", would still use relatively flimsy excuses to let us go by ourselves.  Which brings me to my second thought.....

 

2.  I have a professional conference in Whistler every year mid-winter, and she was DEFINITELY interested in a week at Whistler, there might even be some occasional skiing for her.  On a whim signed her up for their ski esprit.  It was 5 days with the same instructor, same level (2), same students, with apres ski most nights with instructor and group.  Almost all the students in her group were women ( I don't know if they split them up that way or if you simply can't get any guys to admit they are level 2's ).  She had an absolute blast!  The week was more of a social group with some instruction thrown in, but she improved significantly and felt very at home during the week.  The ski esprit is now an annual event, but more important she is now an enthusiastic skier outside of that week, coming up with us nearly every time, even going up on her own occasionally.  I am not saying you need to go to whistler, but maybe there is something similar near you, possibly a multiweek.

 

Good luck, and as others have said, even if she never becomes an avid skier - as long as she supports YOUR skiing, its all good.

That is a great story about getting someone hooked via the old "optimal ski resort immersion technique".

Quote:

Originally Posted by tromano 

My wife loves to ski as much as I do. Skiing together is great.

 

But what I think really matters is having a partner who shares the same lifestyle and priorities. Skiers need to be up in the mountains and if your partner loves the mountains and playing outside that is what is really key. Being a skier as well is just a bonus. 

Rowing in the same direction makes the river of life a lot more enjoyable, eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I wont date anyone wont try to date anyone who doesnt ski. Ideally she skis better than me.

 

I have met exactly one person who fits this profile. I guess my standards are too high. 

 

 

 

 

 

BushwackerinPA -What would you guesstimate the odds of finding a woman fitting that profile? In my experience about a million to one. Sounds like you found one and I found one so that leaves

approximately 163 suitable females left in North America. Good luck gentlemen!!

When my wife and I started dating in college she gave skiing a try.  We went to to Breck on Christmas break and spent a week skiing.  Unfortunately after that she didn't get to ski much until the following Christmas break when we returned to Breck.  I think she got frustrated with it because the lack of free time she had in school didn't allow for many opportunities to ski.  I on the other hand skied 50-60 days a year because I lived much closer and to be honest didn't take college nearly as serious as she did.  She hates the cold so I am glad she has willingly tried it off and on for the last 10 years but the only real issue we ran in to was the first couple of winters we were married.  I intended to keep skiing the same as before which did put some stress on our relationship since she hates skiing at the local hill and could rarely if ever be convinced to go.  The second winter we were married we moved in to a new house and I skied a total of 3 days all winter.  I think she could tell how unhappy I was and since then she has pretty much accepted that on the weekends I am going to ski.  She always is welcome to join me but never does.  She's found hobbies to keep her busy in the in the winter and she doesn't complain about me being gone skiing.  If we hadn't reached this sort of agreement I am certain it might have been a short marriage.

We do ski on vacations from time to time and I'm glad she is still willing to try but it does get hard since she gets so little time on snow.  I think she is a terminal green skier.  She hates feeling like she is holding me back and keeping me from enjoying.  I just wish she would go enough locally to be comfortable and able to cruise some blues out west.

I'm sure SkiDiva has way more than 164 members....ah, yes, 2954 of them.  And my daughter doesn't belong, she's too busy skiing, so that makes 2955.  

And if he's picky, there are the tele racers here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Castle Dave 

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I wont date anyone wont try to date anyone who doesnt ski. Ideally she skis better than me.

 

I have met exactly one person who fits this profile. I guess my standards are too high. 

 

 

 

 

 

BushwackerinPA -What would you guesstimate the odds of finding a woman fitting that profile? In my experience about a million to one. Sounds like you found one and I found one so that leaves

approximately 163 suitable females left in North America. Good luck gentlemen!!

 
 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Castle Dave 

BushwackerinPA -What would you guesstimate the odds of finding a woman fitting that profile? In my experience about a million to one. Sounds like you found one and I found one so that leaves

approximately 163 suitable females left in North America. Good luck gentlemen!!

 
 

 

This is the reason that (from a thread posted last year) .......

If a girl is a 10 and moves to a ski town, she's a 13!

http://www.epicski.com/t/95391/ski-bum

From the article 

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

I wont date anyone wont try to date anyone who doesnt ski. Ideally she skis better than me...

 

 

 

 

That's what Thomas Vonn said.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by telerod15 

That's what Thomas Vonn said.
 

 

That's funny^^^^ 

To sum it up...........

From the article linked above, if you're with a rippin chick in a ski town:  “She’s NOT your Girlfriend.  It’s just your turn.”

Remember that, Phil...
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trekchick 

 

To sum it up...........

From the article linked above, if you're with a rippin chick in a ski town:  “She’s NOT your Girlfriend.  It’s just your turn.”

Quote:

Originally Posted by Castle Dave 

BushwackerinPA -What would you guesstimate the odds of finding a woman fitting that profile? In my experience about a million to one. Sounds like you found one and I found one so that leaves

approximately 163 suitable females left in North America. Good luck gentlemen!!

 
 

 

just because I found her, doesnt mean its my turn yet. the best way to woo a young women sadly is make her just alittle bit jealous. Its for her good though....

let just say it takes really confident guy to go after someone who is that good and not be mad about her ability. I would rather show it off than anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan1088 

How any of you have a spouse or significant other that wants nothing to do with going with you to the mountain? I was just curious because my wife won't even make an attempt to try to ski and I have just accepted that this is going to be something I do with my friends. 

Ah, let's see ... imagine someone who has very bad eyesight, hates going fast (any time, anywhere, any how), hates the cold, doesn't like adjusting clothing, has poor balance, and - above all - cannot abide any activity that requires lots of preparation and/or gear in order to make a successful outing ... that's my spouse. On the up side, she is as accommodating as someone can be who doesn't "get it." Intellectually, she absolutely sees that skiing and biking are a hugely important part of my life, and respects that. But deep down she still thinks of these activities the same way I think of going bowling or going to the movies - something you do once in a while as a special entertainment treat, not something you'd ever want to do several times a week if you could. And that sometimes creates some tension. Reminds me of the famous scene Annie Hall when they're (independently) talking to their shrinks. The shrinks ask, "How often do you have sex?" The Woody Allen character says, "Hardly ever - about three times a week." The Diane Keaton character says, "Constantly - about three times a week."

Quote:

Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA 

just because I found her, doesnt mean its my turn yet. the best way to woo a young women sadly is make her just alittle bit jealous. Its for her good though....

 

let just say it takes really confident guy to go after someone who is that good and not be mad about her ability. I would rather show it off than anything.

 

The things you don't understand boggle the mind.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rossi Smash 

The things you don't understand boggle the mind.......

 

  True dat!