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Children's books never written..

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Thread Starter 


Some of these just never get old...


"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad" 

"Babar Meets the Taxidermist" 

"All Daddy Wants for Christmas is For You to Shut the Hell Up" ( 

"Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom's Purse" 

"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead" 

"How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School" 

"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear

"Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff"

"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will" 

"Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games" 

"Your Nightmares Are Real" 

"Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School" 

"Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things" 

"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry" 

"Strangers Have the Best Candy" 

"Some Kittens Can Fly!" 

"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face" 

"Playing with Fire Can be Fun!" 

"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?" 

"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer - Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" 

"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say 'God Did It'" 

"You're Why Mommy's Fat"  

"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia" 

"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?" 

"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?" 

"Bi-Curious George" 

"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets" 


"How to Dissect a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle." (thanks to Darlene Forsman) 

"Pat the Bunny, then Use the Purell" 

"These are Mommy's Happy Pills" (thanks to Sam McCutchen) 

"You Were an Accident" 

"You Are Different and That's Bad" 

"We're Poor Because We Had You" (thanks to Darlene Forsman) 

"The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables" 

"Dad's New Wife Robert" 

"Curious George Stays Put" 

"Charlotte's Web of Lies & Deceit" 

"Charlie and the Third World Nike Factory" 

"Alice's Adventures in Caesar's Palace" 

"Ali Baba and the 1,000 Arab Stereotypes" 

"Babar, the Ivory Coat Rack" 

"Kermit the Frog and the Hot Skillet of Foaming Butter" 

"The Little Train Who Couldn't, But It's Okay Because It Happens to Every Train Once in A While" 

"Puce in Boots" 

"Little Red in Da Hood" 

"Snow White and the Seven Intoxicated Mexicans" 

"Hansel and Gretel and Hansel's Special Friend Sven" 

"Harriet the Stalker" 

"Larry the Leper Needs a Hand" 

"Ninety-Nine Horny Blue Men in Tight White Pants: Smurfette's Confessions" 

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Soup" 

"The Preschool of Dr. Moreau" 

"Nancy Drew and the Mysterious Case of Recurring Crabs" 

"Journey to the Centre of Birmingham" 

"Richard Scarry's Busiest Taxidermist Ever" 

"The Famous Five get ASBO's" 

"Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share" 

"Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book" 

"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking" 

"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her" 

"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence" 

"All Cats Go to Hell" 

"The Little Sissy Who Snitched" 

"That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption" 

"Grandpa Gets a Casket" 

"How to Get the Childproof Cap Off your Brother's ADD Pills" 

"The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator" 

"The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy" 

"Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way"

"Why animals sleep so close to the road"

post #2 of 2




The Easter Story (Kosher Edition)



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