How not to look like a total gaper... - Page 2

Quote:

Originally Posted by slider 

And for god sake people don't stand in front of the lift entrance so everyone else has to go around your dumbass.

+1

My Bad.............

Quote:

Originally Posted by Philpug 

Let's not junk up this thread with facts. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MidwestPete .

 

No smoking while skiing. 

I know. Unless you're in Europe, it's so 1950's...

I regret to inform you, this is hip fashion now.  Look at all the Teenage park rats.  Sad but true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richie-Rich 

Don't wear your puffy, knitted, hat under your ill fitting, lose, helmet making you head look like its now 4" higher above your eyes than natural.

 

I'll let the video speak for itself...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trekchick 

And never ever do the texas suitcase

 

For God's sake, tuck the baskets into the pole straps! You can carry your skis and poles easily in one hand once you learn how. You are on the right track, very close to getting it right. Keep trying! Is this your fist time skiing?

And get some gaiters! Rookie!
 

Use the term gaper, ski faster than everyone else in a slow zone, talk about another skier's technique with beginners on the lift in a way that they have no idea what you are talking about, think everyone on the lift cant wait to see you ski again, tell strangers about the gnar run you just did, dont talk to anyone on the lift at all ever unless they have proven to not be gapers, answer all questions at a level lesser skiers cant follow, give directions in the fastest possble-most minimal way possible, make sure all strangers know that you dont like to ski on days when you can hear your skis, whip the bar down, ski close, yell over your shoulder, cut off the slower skiers line, never offer help, make perfect round turns all the same size cuz its blue, if someone asks about forcasted snow say something like; ".....yea tomorrow only 8" so not a real powder day."

Never ask a lesser skier if they like their own gear, never ever ask a tourist type where they are from, shrug alot, be cool, be bored, be aggravated, just generally make surre that everyone knows that you are not a gaper, make a day of it.

Does starting rumors on town transportation that you heard a big dump is coming in tonight count?  (I do enjoy doing this from time to time.... )
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeshoto 

Use the term gaper, ski faster than everyone else in a slow zone, talk about another skier's technique with beginners on the lift in a way that they have no idea what you are talking about, think everyone on the lift cant wait to see you ski again, tell strangers about the gnar run you just did, dont talk to anyone on the lift at all ever unless they have proven to not be gapers, answer all questions at a level lesser skiers cant follow, give directions in the fastest possble-most minimal way possible, make sure all strangers know that you dont like to ski on days when you can hear your skis, whip the bar down, ski close, yell over your shoulder, cut off the slower skiers line, never offer help, make perfect round turns all the same size cuz its blue, if someone asks about forcasted snow say something like; ".....yea tomorrow only 8" so not a real powder day."

Never ask a lesser skier if they like their own gear, never ever ask a tourist type where they are from, shrug alot, be cool, be bored, be aggravated, just generally make surre that everyone knows that you are not a gaper, make a day of it.

This definitely qualifies!

 hilarious...
 

Originally Posted by jaytierney 

 

Originally Posted by telerod15 

For God's sake, tuck the baskets into the pole straps! You can carry your skis and poles easily in one hand once you learn how. You are on the right track, very close to getting it right. Keep trying! Is this your fist time skiing?

 

And get some gaiters! Rookie!

 

Really Phil! Get it together. Two hands required for the Texas Suitcase??? That qualifies as a meta-gaper.

(Why isn't it the Florida Handbag?)

Otoh, it's quite obvious you're not a gaper because you're too balanced. Next time you want to act like one, stick a small stone under your foot inside the boot.

Because of you're failure at constructing the suitcase, you are now required to watch this instructional video from Jackson Hole on the "Timeless Texas Suitcase".

It is supposed to be "simple and sexy".

The video also covers an "advanced" version of the suitcase in which you can carry the boots also. I suggest you implement that one next time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puj_wYyDzBk

video by TetonVillageSports

yes it counts but for full effect you have to make it seem that it is a special insider weather report, not the stuff tourist-types hear on the resort channel.  The weather you get is from your buddy who lives at 130000ft in a tent and reports daily from the back. 

And you could say that you convinced your friend to not run the grooming operation so that you know it will be a goood gnar day for sure.  Call the driver Brah.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Finndog 

Does starting rumors on town transportation that you heard a big dump is coming in tonight count?  (I do enjoy doing this from time to time.... )
 

 

 that's so cool........  like I coud say i am bro' Brahs' with Joel from CPF....(see I even used a 3 letter acronym....TLA's are cool)
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeshoto 

yes it counts but for full effect you have to make it seem that it is a special insider weather report, not the stuff tourist-types hear on the resort channel.  The weather you get is from your buddy who lives at 130000ft in a tent and reports daily from the back. 

 

And you could say that you convinced your friend to not run the grooming operation so that you know it will be a goood gnar day for sure.  Call the driver Brah.
 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin 

 

Don’t fly into Aspen.  Ever.  I did, just to prove the point, or at least that’s what I’m telling y’all.

 

So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver?  Where do you recommend to fly to?

I am starting to plan next years trip and it was looking like snowmass, mammoth, or possibly banff or somewhere else in CA rockies

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtebor 

So what is wrong with flying to Aspen? 

 

He wasn't skiing there.  
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtebor 

 

So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver?  Where do you recommend to fly to?

I am starting to plan next years trip and it was looking like snowmass, mammoth, or possibly banff or somewhere else in CA rockies

 

Sure does beat the drive from Denver. Don't know what he's talking about since if you can do it, it makes it so easy to be there and there's free shuttles to hotels.

If possible fly earlier in the day as the weather tends to come in afternoon.

 

Gaper from Montana who comes to BMBW.... please don't "ask" if there is "another chairlift" or a "traverse" to get to "more terrain."  Anybody who's been to BMBW knows that's in poor taste.

Also, when I try to be nice and make conversation don't tell me that Bridger got "10 feet of snow" in ONE STORM!!!!

Gapers come from everywhere.

The binding covers you use on your roof rack make fine gaiters. 

Absolutely not.

Points for repping the team, and points for the irony.

Double points for the cheerful goofiness of it all.

@

The EpicSki community should make its own version of G. N. A. R. (from the Squawllywood and the movie G.N.A.R, as seen in the link here http://www.epicski.com/forum/thread/100165/g-n-a-r-movie-up-on-unofficialsquaw-com), and create our own version of E.P.I.C GAPER points

What kind of points should be handed out for.........

Points for showing up at the hill with a texas suitcase

wearing jeans

wearing a starter jacket

asking where the hill is

(and the list goes on and on)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaytierney 

 

I'll let the video speak for itself...

oh, crap.... dying here....
 

this is classic... i remember when he told us about the itinerary....... 
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by segbrown 

He wasn't skiing there.  
 

 

After saying I skied in vermont, the past couple years everyone who has never skied in vermont asks "its all ice all the time right" , instead of asking how it is there.

after a couple long discussions my new answer has been. "yep its always icey at okemo, I dont know why anyone would ever ski there"

always icey.....

the irony is despite great powder skiing up high at the bird, that low faces have been some of the worst conditions I have seen this year.  Also utahn born gapers are funny....

We had some guy born and raised in utah, 6 feet tall at least 200lb skiing on 160 Rx9 ask me and my buddies if our skis were better in powder snow on a 13 inch powder day. Again its not worth my time anymore since this guy who skis in utah on rx9s doesnt have a clue. I just  said 'nope I ski them because they make me look cooler."

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin 

Yeah, I looked at a map before getting a ticket (for skiing at Vail/Summit Co.); I did not, however, look at a road map...  Denver beats Aspen for what I needed.  Further, when it was time to go home, I drove to Aspen only to learn that the flights were cancelled due to high winds (they weren't when I left!) for the rest of the day, and following day flights were full.  The solution?  I was rebooked on Continental out of Denver, yay.  Well, Denver the next day.  So, I got to drive back to Summit, crash on a spare bed (thanks, Matt!) then drive to Denver the next morning, which is what I should have done all along.  Oh, and I missed a day of skiing at Copper as a result, which included making runs with great folks and some pretty special ski critique from a righteous dude.

 

The comedy of errors that was my itinerary was a source of one or two guffaws during the week I was in CO...

 

Wait, so maybe that was you I saw pulling into Copper as I left that Saturday afternoon? 
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin 

The comedy of errors that was my itinerary was a source of one or two guffaws during the week I was in CO...

 

We love anyone who can make us laugh, for whatever reason! ;-)
 

And be okay to laugh about it as well!!^^^^

Fairtomiddlin, you're a great sport!

A good guy.  end of story!  Cheers bro'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Finndog 

A good guy.  end of story!  Cheers bro'

You think we could talk Fairtomiddlin into coming out to Abasin for mothers day weekend?  

Wonder if he'd choose a flight to Denver this time?