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How not to look like a total gaper... - Page 2

post #31 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post

And for god sake people don't stand in front of the lift entrance so everyone else has to go around your dumbass.



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post #32 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider View Post

And for god sake people don't stand in front of the lift entrance so everyone else has to go around your dumbass.



Let's not junk up this thread with facts. jk.gif

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post #33 of 1268


My Bad.............redface.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by Philpug View Post





Let's not junk up this thread with facts. jk.gif



 

post #34 of 1268

Quote:

Originally Posted by MidwestPete View Post.

 

No smoking while skiing. 

I know. Unless you're in Europe, it's so 1950's...

 

post #35 of 1268


I regret to inform you, this is hip fashion now.  Look at all the Teenage park rats.  Sad but true.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie-Rich View Post

Don't wear your puffy, knitted, hat under your ill fitting, lose, helmet making you head look like its now 4" higher above your eyes than natural.

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQX6XBonQbGs9hVTGy_SOb7XH9amNRnqs4TQ24TfdocIFqwyr-1UQ



 

post #36 of 1268

 

I'll let the video speak for itself...

post #37 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post

And never ever do the texas suitcase

199443_10150212737946138_540901137_8975313_4194989_n.jpg

 

 

For God's sake, tuck the baskets into the pole straps! You can carry your skis and poles easily in one hand once you learn how. You are on the right track, very close to getting it right. Keep trying! Is this your fist time skiing?

 

And get some gaiters! Rookie!
 

 

post #38 of 1268

Use the term gaper, ski faster than everyone else in a slow zone, talk about another skier's technique with beginners on the lift in a way that they have no idea what you are talking about, think everyone on the lift cant wait to see you ski again, tell strangers about the gnar run you just did, dont talk to anyone on the lift at all ever unless they have proven to not be gapers, answer all questions at a level lesser skiers cant follow, give directions in the fastest possble-most minimal way possible, make sure all strangers know that you dont like to ski on days when you can hear your skis, whip the bar down, ski close, yell over your shoulder, cut off the slower skiers line, never offer help, make perfect round turns all the same size cuz its blue, if someone asks about forcasted snow say something like; ".....yea tomorrow only 8" so not a real powder day."

Never ask a lesser skier if they like their own gear, never ever ask a tourist type where they are from, shrug alot, be cool, be bored, be aggravated, just generally make surre that everyone knows that you are not a gaper, make a day of it.

post #39 of 1268
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post #40 of 1268


Does starting rumors on town transportation that you heard a big dump is coming in tonight count?  (I do enjoy doing this from time to time.... )
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeshoto View Post

Use the term gaper, ski faster than everyone else in a slow zone, talk about another skier's technique with beginners on the lift in a way that they have no idea what you are talking about, think everyone on the lift cant wait to see you ski again, tell strangers about the gnar run you just did, dont talk to anyone on the lift at all ever unless they have proven to not be gapers, answer all questions at a level lesser skiers cant follow, give directions in the fastest possble-most minimal way possible, make sure all strangers know that you dont like to ski on days when you can hear your skis, whip the bar down, ski close, yell over your shoulder, cut off the slower skiers line, never offer help, make perfect round turns all the same size cuz its blue, if someone asks about forcasted snow say something like; ".....yea tomorrow only 8" so not a real powder day."

Never ask a lesser skier if they like their own gear, never ever ask a tourist type where they are from, shrug alot, be cool, be bored, be aggravated, just generally make surre that everyone knows that you are not a gaper, make a day of it.



 

post #41 of 1268

This definitely qualifies!

 hilarious...
 

Originally Posted by jaytierney View Post

 

 

I'll let the video speak for itself...


 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post

And never ever do the texas suitcase

199443_10150212737946138_540901137_8975313_4194989_n.jpg

 


 

Originally Posted by telerod15 View Post

For God's sake, tuck the baskets into the pole straps! You can carry your skis and poles easily in one hand once you learn how. You are on the right track, very close to getting it right. Keep trying! Is this your fist time skiing?

 

And get some gaiters! Rookie!

 


Really Phil! Get it together. Two hands required for the Texas Suitcase??? That qualifies as a meta-gaper.

(Why isn't it the Florida Handbag?)

Otoh, it's quite obvious you're not a gaper because you're too balanced. Next time you want to act like one, stick a small stone under your foot inside the boot.

 

Because of you're failure at constructing the suitcase, you are now required to watch this instructional video from Jackson Hole on the "Timeless Texas Suitcase".

It is supposed to be "simple and sexy".

The video also covers an "advanced" version of the suitcase in which you can carry the boots also. I suggest you implement that one next time.

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puj_wYyDzBk

video by TetonVillageSports

 


Edited by Tog - 4/21/11 at 10:48am
post #42 of 1268


yes it counts but for full effect you have to make it seem that it is a special insider weather report, not the stuff tourist-types hear on the resort channel.  The weather you get is from your buddy who lives at 130000ft in a tent and reports daily from the back. 

 

And you could say that you convinced your friend to not run the grooming operation so that you know it will be a goood gnar day for sure.  Call the driver Brah.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Finndog View Post


Does starting rumors on town transportation that you heard a big dump is coming in tonight count?  (I do enjoy doing this from time to time.... )
 



 



 

post #43 of 1268


biggrin.gif that's so cool........  like I coud say i am bro' Brahs' with Joel from CPF....(see I even used a 3 letter acronym....TLA's are cool)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeshoto View Post


yes it counts but for full effect you have to make it seem that it is a special insider weather report, not the stuff tourist-types hear on the resort channel.  The weather you get is from your buddy who lives at 130000ft in a tent and reports daily from the back. 

 

And you could say that you convinced your friend to not run the grooming operation so that you know it will be a goood gnar day for sure.  Call the driver Brah.
 



 



 

post #44 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin View Post

 

Don’t fly into Aspen.  Ever.  I did, just to prove the point, or at least that’s what I’m telling y’all.

 

So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver?  Where do you recommend to fly to?

I am starting to plan next years trip and it was looking like snowmass, mammoth, or possibly banff or somewhere else in CA rockies

 

post #45 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtebor View Post



So what is wrong with flying to Aspen? 

 

He wasn't skiing there.   tongue.gif
 

 

post #46 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtebor View Post

 

So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver?  Where do you recommend to fly to?

I am starting to plan next years trip and it was looking like snowmass, mammoth, or possibly banff or somewhere else in CA rockies

 

Sure does beat the drive from Denver. Don't know what he's talking about since if you can do it, it makes it so easy to be there and there's free shuttles to hotels.

If possible fly earlier in the day as the weather tends to come in afternoon.

 

 

post #47 of 1268

Gaper from Montana who comes to BMBW.... please don't "ask" if there is "another chairlift" or a "traverse" to get to "more terrain."  Anybody who's been to BMBW knows that's in poor taste.

 

Also, when I try to be nice and make conversation don't tell me that Bridger got "10 feet of snow" in ONE STORM!!!!

 

 

 

Gapers come from everywhere.

post #48 of 1268

The binding covers you use on your roof rack make fine gaiters. icon14.gif

post #49 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtebor View Post



So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver? 

 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by segbrown View Post



He wasn't skiing there.   tongue.gif
 

 


ROFLMAO

 

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post #50 of 1268

Absolutely not.

 

Points for repping the team, and points for the irony.

Double points for the cheerful goofiness of it all.

 

@

post #51 of 1268
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtebor View Post



So what is wrong with flying to Aspen, doesn't it beat the 4 to 5 hour drive from Denver?  Where do you recommend to fly to?

I am starting to plan next years trip and it was looking like snowmass, mammoth, or possibly banff or somewhere else in CA rockies

 


Yeah, I looked at a map before getting a ticket (for skiing at Vail/Summit Co.); I did not, however, look at a road map...  Denver beats Aspen for what I needed.  Further, when it was time to go home, I drove to Aspen only to learn that the flights were cancelled due to high winds (they weren't when I left!) for the rest of the day, and following day flights were full.  The solution?  I was rebooked on Continental out of Denver, yay.  Well, Denver the next day.  So, I got to drive back to Summit, crash on a spare bed (thanks, Matt!) then drive to Denver the next morning, which is what I should have done all along.  Oh, and I missed a day of skiing at Copper as a result, which included making runs with great folks and some pretty special ski critique from a righteous dude.

 

The comedy of errors that was my itinerary was a source of one or two guffaws during the week I was in CO...

 

post #52 of 1268

The EpicSki community should make its own version of G. N. A. R. (from the Squawllywood and the movie G.N.A.R, as seen in the link here http://www.epicski.com/forum/thread/100165/g-n-a-r-movie-up-on-unofficialsquaw-com), and create our own version of E.P.I.C GAPER points

What kind of points should be handed out for.........

Points for showing up at the hill with a texas suitcase

wearing jeans

wearing a starter jacket

asking where the hill is

(and the list goes on and on)

 

 

post #53 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaytierney View Post

 

I'll let the video speak for itself...

 

oh, crap.... dying here....
 

 

post #54 of 1268


this is classic... i remember when he told us about the itinerary....... 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by segbrown View Post



He wasn't skiing there.   tongue.gif
 

 



 

post #55 of 1268

After saying I skied in vermont, the past couple years everyone who has never skied in vermont asks "its all ice all the time right" , instead of asking how it is there.

 

after a couple long discussions my new answer has been. "yep its always icey at okemo, I dont know why anyone would ever ski there"

 

 

always icey.....

67845_477362938356_505253356_5612956_6355162_n.jpg

 

the irony is despite great powder skiing up high at the bird, that low faces have been some of the worst conditions I have seen this year.  Also utahn born gapers are funny....

 

We had some guy born and raised in utah, 6 feet tall at least 200lb skiing on 160 Rx9 ask me and my buddies if our skis were better in powder snow on a 13 inch powder day. Again its not worth my time anymore since this guy who skis in utah on rx9s doesnt have a clue. I just  said 'nope I ski them because they make me look cooler."

post #56 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin View Post




Yeah, I looked at a map before getting a ticket (for skiing at Vail/Summit Co.); I did not, however, look at a road map...  Denver beats Aspen for what I needed.  Further, when it was time to go home, I drove to Aspen only to learn that the flights were cancelled due to high winds (they weren't when I left!) for the rest of the day, and following day flights were full.  The solution?  I was rebooked on Continental out of Denver, yay.  Well, Denver the next day.  So, I got to drive back to Summit, crash on a spare bed (thanks, Matt!) then drive to Denver the next morning, which is what I should have done all along.  Oh, and I missed a day of skiing at Copper as a result, which included making runs with great folks and some pretty special ski critique from a righteous dude.

 

The comedy of errors that was my itinerary was a source of one or two guffaws during the week I was in CO...

 


Wait, so maybe that was you I saw pulling into Copper as I left that Saturday afternoon? 
 

 

post #57 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairToMiddlin View Post


The comedy of errors that was my itinerary was a source of one or two guffaws during the week I was in CO...

 

We love anyone who can make us laugh, for whatever reason! ;-)
 

 

post #58 of 1268

And be okay to laugh about it as well!!^^^^

 

Fairtomiddlin, you're a great sport!

post #59 of 1268

A good guy.  end of story!  Cheers bro'

post #60 of 1268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finndog View Post

A good guy.  end of story!  Cheers bro'



You think we could talk Fairtomiddlin into coming out to Abasin for mothers day weekend?  

Wonder if he'd choose a flight to Denver this time?biggrin.gif

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