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Old jokes that don't work any more

#1
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10/29/09 at 9:57am
  • Joined: June 2004
  • Location: New York
  • Post Count: 149
What happened to the couple who got a jar of vaseline mixed up with a jar of putty?

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Their windows fell out.

If you're saying "Hmmmm?" you probably never lived in a house so old that its window panes were held in place by putty, as opposed to prefab  or replacement windows.  Another one that used to go over well was based on a McDonald's jingle they stopped using about 20 years ago. It was one of those long-winded stories with a contrived punch line that sounds like the jingle.  Such a shame I can't tell it any more.  You got any like that?
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#2
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10/29/09 at 10:53am
  • Joined: January 2007
  • Location: Seattle, WA
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Two obese Patty's, special Ross, Lester Sleaze picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus?

Ah, the classics.
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#3
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10/29/09 at 10:57am
  • Joined: June 2004
  • Location: New York
  • Post Count: 149
and Transporting a gull across a sedate lion for an immortal porpoise.
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#4
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10/29/09 at 12:47pm
  • Joined: October 2004
  • Location: Bellingham, WA
  • Post Count: 2,490


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mapnut View Post

What happened to the couple who got a jar of vaseline mixed up with a jar of putty?
 
Their windows fell out?  They would have fallen out with plain putty too, albeit they would have taken longer.  They needed glazing compound.  I've just spent the last three years re-glazing all of the many sash windows on my ski cabin.  A chore that will come around again after I'm dead, if I'm lucky.

I slide.

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#5
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10/29/09 at 3:09pm
  • Joined: December 2007
  • Location: The Bull City
  • Post Count: 10,778
You sound like a broken record

Smell that?  Winter's coming!
 

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#6
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10/29/09 at 7:19pm
  • Joined: September 2000
  • Location: Calgary, Alberta
  • Post Count: 535
Several years (10 - 12) ago we took a friend of my daughters up to the cabin for a weekend.  They were about 8.

I suggested she phone her mom to let her know she had arrived safely.  She headed over to the phone, and just stood there with a strange look on her face.  She had never seen, and did not know how to use a dial phone.

"Dialing for dollars"??

Not strictly a joke, but I got a (quiet) chuckle out of it.
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#7
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10/30/09 at 10:14am
  • Joined: June 2004
  • Location: New York
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Sorry Posaune, the original joke had putty.  If it had been updated to glazing compound, it wouldn't have survived much longer.
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#8
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10/30/09 at 2:56pm
  • Joined: March 2000
  • Location: Bozeman, MT
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Helen Keller jokes don't work anymore partially because few people know who Helen Keller was but mainly because they were very politically incorrect.

In Bozeman waiting for first contact

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#9
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10/30/09 at 8:08pm
  • Joined: March 2002
  • Location: mASS
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Not buying that, Rio.  Blazing Saddles is still funny.  
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#10
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10/31/09 at 10:43am
  • Joined: December 2007
  • Location: The Bull City
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonni View Post

Not buying that, Rio.  Blazing Saddles is still funny.  

Sure is, but it was funnier when everybody knew about "Howard Johnson".

Smell that?  Winter's coming!
 

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#11
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11/2/09 at 7:45pm
  • Joined: October 2004
  • Location: Ontario, Canada
  • Post Count: 9,923
"You saw God?"
"Yeah, man.  I played Black Sabbath at 78 speed"
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#12
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11/12/09 at 9:49am
  • Joined: October 2009
  • Location: Muncy, PA
  • Post Count: 181


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rio View Post

Helen Keller jokes don't work anymore partially because few people know who Helen Keller was but mainly because they were very politically incorrect.


They may be politically incorrect but I still enjoy using them

Skiing combines outdoor fun and knocking trees down with your face.  ~Dave Barry

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