You Might Be A Ski Bum If......

I was wondering if anybody could come up with some "you might be a red neck jokes" for skiers. I thought of a couple last night so here goes..

If you have a bumper sticker that says "My Other Car is a SNOW CAT" then...........

You might just be a ski bum!


If you refer to "binding arbitration" as a discussion of whether to tap new skis ball of foot or mid-sole then...................

You might just be a ski bum!

:

If you must be 21 years of age or older to purchase what your poles are filled with then..........................

You might just be a ski bum!

You can wax eloquent on generic ramon...

If your Quiver cost more than your car-you might be a ski bum.

If your street address is:

<Your Name>
Rusty Van
Lower Lot
<insert ski area>, ST, xxxxx


You just might be a ski bum!

If your idea of a first date is going skiing, you might be a ski bum.

If your wife complains about wax on her iron, you might be a ski bum.

If your idea of a "wax job" includes skis, you might be a ski bum.

If you refer to beef jerkey and a handfull o snow as "lunch" then.......

You just might be a ski bum

If the only good picture of yourself is pasted on a season pass...

If you still have all your old season passes AND all your old ski town bus passes AND still vividly remember the day, date, month and year of your first day on skis AND your gloves are more duct tape than glove--you might be a ski bum:

If you clean and wax your skis more often than you wash your underwear....

You might be a ski bum.

If you can name every ski you've ever owned but can't name you ex-wives.

If you take your Skiing seriously.

If you imagine skiing off every feature you see around the neighborhood, like people's roofs, highway over-passes, or can turn a brick-patterned sidewalk into an imaginary mogul field.... you might be a ski bum.

If you skied today for two hours after lunch in a driving rain storm as the snow dwindeled to almost nothing then....................

I might just be a ski bum

You might be a ski bum if you (while collecting unemployment), fill out all of the required (minimum mandatory), applications for jobs with ...

Position Applied For: ........ "Leader of The Pack"

True story, I drove a friend to fill out applications one day ..... this is what he was putting on every one. One of the applications was at a Psychiatric facility.

The fall of a ski bum...

Yuki, ironically I have left those friends behind. Perhaps I am no longer a ski bum. I just can't hang around with those guys anymore. (collect unemployment, take cash under-the-table, sell schwag from the lost and found, sell comp'd tickets in the parking lot... etc. I just kept wondering how long it would take for them to rip me off directly if I wasn't paying attention. Then again, maybe they're just bums that happen to ski.)


signed,

the working stiff.

That was over thirty five years ago .... and I agree fully with you on those issues!

I gave the guy a ride because I honestly thought he was looking for a job. It wasn't till our last stop at the Psychiatric facility that he "called me over for some advice" on filling out the form.

It used to piss me off when I couldn't get work ..... during the recession of the mid 70's ..... and was trying ..... I'd see guys with fresh paint on them or drywall mud .... standing in line waiting for a check. Those were tough times! With two years of college, I ended up delivering mail in a factory for a year ..... up and down steps all day ... but ... it was an honest job .... it sucked ... but it was honest ...

:

If...

*you forgot your pass but it doesn't matter because the lifties all know you, you might be...

*your alarm is the snowcats firing up in the morning because you're sleeping in the back of your truck outside the equipment shed, you might be...

*you get up three hours before the snowcats fire up because you're the mechanic, you might be...

*you radio in today's snow report, you might be...

*you found your skis in a dumpster, but you still ski better than 99.9% of the skiers on the hill, you might be...

*you share a one-bedroom apartment with four other people and 27 pairs of skis, you might be...

*you don't know how much a day ticket costs because you always have a pass supplied by your employer, you might be...

*you go to the nicest restaurant in the resort 6 days a week because of the great money you make
...working as a waitperson at that restaurant, you might be...

*you have ever slept in because it "only" snowed 12 inches, you might be...

*you can't remember the last time you actually had to drive your own vehicle to the ski area but you're there every day anyway, you might be...

*you have a salvaged plastic plate and plasticware so your buddies can make multiple trips to the all-you-can-eat breakfast bar on your behalf, you might be...
(This, of course, is why all-you-can-eat breakfast bars don't exist any more.)

*you have ever talked your way onto a snowcat for the purpose of out-of-bounds uphill transport, you might be...

A Ski Bum.

If you've ever been up to your elbows in fresh POW when you should have been:
in court.
at a close family member's wedding or funeral.
taking a final exam.
in the delivery room while your child is being born.
in a job inerview.

You might just be a ski bum.


If your boots have more duct tape than buckles;
If your pants are held together with Shoe Goo and tape;

then...you just might be a ski bum.

I went skiing on my dad's birthday once. I was 17. I also got a speeding ticket that he paid for. I farked that one up.

Good one Sam, that gives me an idea..

If you've ever tried to use in a hurry to get first tracks as an excuse to get out of a traffic ticket then.....


You just might be a ski bum!

If on your first date with the neighborhood "hottie", you took her skiing. She wanted to make out on a log at the top of the hill ... but the call of the snow was too strong after a little smooching and you insisted on actually wedging the afternoon away. First time for both of us ..

.... hottie was pizzzed!

Said hottie was so hot she hooked up a few weeks with a local guitar prodigy and went on to live in George Harrison's place and record with the Beatles.

Me .... happy idiot .... ended up with a cuter nicer gal who liked to ski .....

Yuki, the question is did the "Hottie" trade up or down?????

That wasn't Yoko was it? Get it? Yuki + Yoko?????????????

If your skiing addiction helped break up the Beatles, you might be a ski bum

You might be a ski bum if...

You're reading this.

Bump. been a year and a half..  Any new ski bum tricks of the trade?

If your screen name is <insert Bear>, you might just be a ski bum!

You may be one if; you have make lunch at mid mountain from a cup of tea packets of ketchup and crackers left at the next table.  Tabasco helps this recipe by the way.

Lol, that would be me.